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2010-11-13T12:34:00.000+08:00

Thanks mum for the new lapps!~ Im still as kiasu as ever when it comes to new stuffs, still getting used to the new one. Haha. & because im going to replace the old one, i've got a problem. I won't be able to use this blogger account anymore, i don't remember the password like i said once in my past entry. Password for this account's saved in this lapps, all i have to do all these years was to type out the first letter of my email add, everything will just come out than i'll be in my account. So i guess i've got no choice but to delete this & create a new one. T.T

So, goodbye to this account. Haiya. There's so many memories in here, but i've got no choice. Blame me for not remembering my password. Goodbye~

2010-11-11T19:31:00.004+08:00

My god. Its the last paper tomorrow, but im not in the least productive. Whats this ?! How can this be, i just don't feel like cracking brains because i think, i think im holiday-ing already. Haiya. I baked today, its been awhile. Than i slept so long, than i didn't even touch my science book. -.- I love that Syai's more kiasu than me that she bought ALL the ingredients already. Haha.

I hate that im going to start work on Monday ;( Well, im too lazy to find for a job, so why not just grab this job oppurtunity right infront of my very eyes. SO there, need to start on monday. But its only 5 days a week, yeay. I give alasan i cannot work for two days a week uh, im so lazy to work full time. Haha^^ I don't know why, but im not in the least excited to work just like how i always am. Maybe this time, i feel like playing & playing. I don't even feel like earning money BUT i need to earn because i wanna get the ______ & its super costly, cost around $1800 T.T(i don't wanna say what is it for fear of SOMEONE out there who'll get it first, kpo lover of a shemale!)

I suddenly remembered this incident that made me think real hard. It was when i was at Syai's house, when Nora asked for my Dslr coz she wanted to snap some pictures. I took it out and Syai's siblings were there who went 'woah' & they asked who bought it for me. I told them, my mum. & they said something like so good that mum bought it for me. Thats when I realised, kids appreciate things given to them more than teenagers or adults. Adults get greedy over money/properties & thats partly the reason why we see different kind of terrorisms/murderers/robbers all over the headlines. Kids, they treasure the stuffs given to them more than us. They're not greedy, they're not fussy. If so, its only a little. They are contented so easily, they don't aim for much, they don't expect more. Amazing how kids are more mature in a way. There must be a reason why god created kids this way.

No wonder you were so afraid of me being o-k with her because she holds your dirty little secret huh. Well too bad, no secrets can be kept forever. I could see from your eyes the fear & the guilt on that particular day, no wonder. Well they say, before you talk about someone, why not mirror yourself first. Wanna diss me, think who created me first. HE who created me is also the same HE who created you.
"They say life's too short to hate , guess they know they'll be living longer to hate" -Scriptz Iphate

2010-11-09T23:47:00.003+08:00

Shut it sis, stop being rude to mum. Don't let me hear a word more from your mouth because if i do, i promise to rise from this sit & you'll face me. Don't let yourself end up in a miserable state, so SHUT.

I don't think having a mum who married twice is something to be ashamed of. Some has got mums who married thrice, four times, five times, six times but i don't think its something to be ashamed for a reason no one's perfect. Not all of us are fortunate enough to meet a person to marry & spend the rest of your life at once, some of us still have to go through some hardships like marrying a couple of times to be able to find the right one. Not all things work the way we want it to be before marriage. Marrying twice, thrice or a couple of times does not mean you're a flirt, it just means your previous failed marriage is a lesson to learn from & its not the end of the world if ever that happens. & im sure many children would agree with me on this, we're still as proud to have our mums as our mum.
& i just wanna add, mums are still human, so they do make mistakes, they do commit sins just like any other. Their past is their past, we can only sit & listen to their past & at the end of the day, still give her the respect she deserves. Seeing mums who are not treated right, who are being shouted at and all makes my heart shrink. So to this friend of mine, i may not be close to you right now compared to last time, but i hope you'd give your mum the respect she deserves. Her past is her past, all of us has got our own past. I hope by now, you're perfectly fine with her. We all realise only when something/someone is gone from us, so don't wait for that before you realise how good a mother she can be to you. ;)

My mum, she's more than an inspiration for me. After going through hardship with her first husband who is sis's father, she met late dad & her life became something close to a taitai. Like what they say, ada hikmah di sebaliknya. Sunshine comes after rain, rainbow comes after rain. But sadly for mum, she didn't get to live with late dad for long, but still she was granted with 4 other children who are degree-holders, some who achieved more than just a mere degree. Than there's me left, & i hope i can become like the rest. & aside from that ungrateful brat(my sis), mum still has got the rest of us. So mum, cheer up. We love you ♥

2010-11-08T12:01:00.002+08:00

Reason for me letting this blog rest is because i don't wanna bring any unwanted issues because of any entries in my blog. But who would have known that my absence from blogging can actually cause more issues just like YOU who makes my absence such a big issue. Are you really so free that you could actually find time to talk about me 24/7 ? Another reason is YOU, i hate it when i type out about something i wanna buy on my blog, than the next thing i know is you've gotten what i wanted. Why're you being so pathetic here, no one's challenging you in any way, why're you so free to visit my blog every now to check up on me, to check out what i've been up to. So free isit? Focus on your A'levels la. Since you LOVE checking up on me, worry not, i won't be away anymore from blogging, in fact i promise a paragraph in every entry that includes where im going, where i went, what i ate, what im doing, what time im going to sleep, what time i woke up, when im going to do my big/small business, anything else you want me to include ? FYLMF.

Im going to start talking about today's paper, make sure you don't click the X button till you're done reading the whole entry & anw im in the mood to type out a super long post now. I promise this won't bore you, nothing about me bores you am i right? Because every single bit about me can be a topic in your mengumpat-sessions with your shemale lover right ?
Ok, i'll start. Today's SS paper was manageable, as what has been predicted, sbq's decontextualised & im loving it because it was doable. BUT fml, due to poor time management AGAIN, left the last 2 questions of sbq to proceed to seq, hoping that i'll have the time to go back to the sbq questions i left, but sighs. Didn't manage to, so 14 marks goodbye. Hati very sakitsakitsakit ;(. Seq i likeylikey, studied venice like hell, & it came out, yeay! I was praying external reasons for the fall of venice won't come out & it didn't so yeayyeay! I love venice, for ONCE. haha. Thank god i didn't wasted time on D & D. No wonder my heart wasn't even into reading it up. -.-
I guess my missing of a night's sleep was quite worth it. Now my eyes macam got 4 eyelids on each eye. This is worst than studying for history, at least i managed to sleep for an hour the night before history paper. But SS, only slept for 15minutes than i showered at 5am & the fcukng thing is, i thought my shampoo was the shower foam, so i happyhappy put shampoo all over my body. I don't dare tell mum about this, haha. She'll nag at me for wasting shampoo. Haha.

Its going to be over soon but im worried for sci paper this friday. Don't laugh but MCQ's my weakness. -.- Im done, & to YOU, do wait for my post tomorrow, it'll be QUITE interesting. Ohh i forgot, NOTHING here bores you. Fuck you & your shemale-tak-sedar-diri lover. You think your shemale lover is so setie with you isit ? Haha. You think shemale CONFIRM setie isit ? Go die. (btw, im not discriminating shemale(s) here, im just pointing out to this particular shemale person who is very -_____-)

2010-11-07T23:42:00.002+08:00

I'll be updating on Tuesday coz i've got something pretty to talk about. :)

Goodluck for F&N students taking the paper tomorrow, i feel you all. Haha. I saw quite a few complaining about the ugly clash of both SS & f&n. Now, im wondering how all of you cope with both subjects that require heavy memorising work. Ohhmy. So it just reminds me of last year 4e4's f&n students. The normal lines we'd say when its f&n time, the normal sleepy faces, the normal boring faces, the normal faces who always get aimed by Mrs lai. Haha. I think f&n was the worst subject for 4e4. Not forgetting POA, -.-. It was terrible pain. '& better get every single thing on digestion up into your head', i remember Mrs Lai saying something like that, pressing us to make sure we memorise every single bit of digestion. Haha, goodluckkkk^^

Im still struggling with Venice right now. :( & this time around, i STUDIED venice, so don't fool me, i BEG YOU CAMBRIDGE. Last year, you fooled quite a number of students(excluding me). Pitiful coz they studied so much on it, at last nothing about venice came out.

2010-11-05T03:25:00.002+08:00

Yeahh i know i said im going to be away for awhile, but i just need this time to type this out. Haiya, i feel so bad. Coz i misunderstood you, very paisey. I terase like -.-' Im sorry, i really thought it was like for me, seriously i feel so paisey. Haha. OMG SO SO SO SORRY. But at least everything's cleared, we 're good now, i likey^^ ;)

ANYWAY, i just came across this couple's profile on fb, i mean this couple has got relations with bf but forget it, i won't elaborate further, i don't wanna bring anger to anyone. I just wanna say, i feel SO SO cheesy over their cheese-basket-ttm words on fb. & they're no longer teenagers eh, just imagine that. & they sound so kampong-style, the way they call each other, yeahh if you know how kampong people call their husband/wife(btw they're not yet married), you know the ones we see on tv. Haha. I just find it funny how they're still practising kampong-styles. & i didn't know it was the trend to call your bf/gf by 'mama'/'papa'. Im not saying anything, im just amused. Haha~

Ohh btw, maybe i'll be sharing the same blog as bf. Just for a reason that this blog brings TOO MUCH pleasant/unpleasant memories. & i wanna leave it alone for now, so if ever i even feel like typing an entry, maybe it'll be at bf's but it'll be unlikely, but there's a possibility, haha. Goodnight~ BTW, Happy Deepavali!~

2010-11-04T13:47:00.003+08:00

At some point of time in our lives, we feel that the whole world's against us. For every actions made, for every words said, there'll be comments made by others, by the people around you or sometimes by people you don't really know. Well, all these comments, they're not really trustworthy. The comments changes as it moves from one person to another, by the time it reaches you, its no longer the exact comment, the whole story changes & thats when everything negative happens.

As i grow older, i've come to realised that we all wanna please everyone but no one was ever successful in doing so. & i realised, how do we please everyone or anyone when sometimes, its so hard pleasing even ourselves. When i was younger, i try too hard pleasing the people around me but over the years that i've tried, i was never successful in doing so. I've read many posts/entries written by my friends & my family, expressing their inner thoughts & feelings, & i realised, the most common thing they talk about is this, about pleasing others.
I'd like to quote this from a friend, she said 'We're all trying so hard to please everyone, but has it ever strucked you if they ever did try to even please us, instead do you even know if they talked about us, or made us the main topic in every of their conversations?'

Im not saying im so much more a better person now, i've got more to learn in the future & this is just a decimal figure percentage of what i've learnt over the years. I realised, no one really escapes from all the negativity in this world. Being in this modern century, its unlikely that there's zero percentage of people bitching about you, having fun criticizing you, making every single action of yours a big spectacle & i know in the future when i move on to a new working life, i know i won't be able to escape from rivals who will bring you down in every way just to get what they want.
Like what mum said, its so much better having fights when you're younger coz you're still not capable of going to a further extent unlike adults. At most, it'll only be the comments that will affect you. But when we reach adulthood, we'd realise rivalry is no longer a small thing.

Having said all that, last night, i just feel that this is the point in my life where im under alot of pressure. Like Nas, i feel like being alone too. Blog, its something much more personal compared to twitter or facebook. Its where you type out almost everything about the life you're leading, its where we type out birthday wishes for friends, its where we express how happy we are with so & so or how sad we are over this & that, its where we type out words to show our utmost appreciation for something someone did or bought for us, its also where we complain a whole lot about anything, everything. BUT, it came to a point, all of these were misinterpreted in a negative way. Like when your only intention was to express how happy you are today because you went to the place you've been wanting to go, others will just think you're silly for typing even that on your blog. Thats why sometimes, its scary. & i remember once 'witnessing' my friend fighting with her friend over an entry where my friend typed out how happy she was because her dad got her a new pair of slippers. Her only intention was that but it became another when her friend came in the picture. & i swear, their fight was really scary, the words said was very mean. Now i finally understand when i see people fighting on facebook over entries typed out in blogs/tumblrs or wherever, everyone's different, we all think differently & we all see things differently.

& i think i've said too much, my intention of typing this out is to just say that i'll be gone from the blogging world for maybe quite some time. I know there'll be people who gets pissed, who gets angry but on the otherhand, i know there are still people who still smile after reading my entries. Well i've decided to be away from this for now because i don't wanna bring any misinterprations to whoever. I wish to not have enemies, rivals or fights anymore & if my absence from the blogging world will make my wish come true, i'd do just that. 5 years in this kind of cyber world, it has taught me quite alot. Often there'll be people who are not happy over your entries, i remember when i was in my lower sec days thing like this happen quite often. Although it didnt turn to any fights or anything but i still know about their unhappiness, i was younger & i didnt realise how things can turn out so bad, but now that im no longer a small child, i realised how little things can turn into something so big. Im not sure myself if im going to delete this blog off, afterall this blog still cotains over hundreds of entries that holds a lot of memories, from being a sec 1 kid, to being a teenager, memories. What i know now is, i wont be present in the blogging world anymore. & if i ever came back, maybe it'll be a few years down the road. Till here, i just wanna apologise if i've ever offended/hurt/angered anyone in any of my entries. If its about entries that were wrote years back, im sorry because i was a kid. & if its about recent entries, im sorry but my intention was just one, its just about what i wanna type out at that point. While typing all of these out, i try my best not to have words that will bring anger to anyone or anything. I hope this entry wouldnt bring any of those to anyone, i hope everyone will just see this entry as an entry i typed out to say whats on my mind, to express what i've got inside, an entry just for me and no one else. You can say that i've got this tiny fear in my heart about blogging, im still afraid that this entry being the last from me will still bring anger or hatred to anyone. Im really afraid. & i really pray that this entry will just remain a simple & true entry, i pray it wouldnt hurt anyone. All praises to the almighty that im still here even after all the rocky paths i've been through, rocky paths are unavoidable in the Journey Of Life, but InsyaAllah, i'll be able to cross those paths with determination & courage. & i know those rocky paths are the one that'll bring me to my dreams & eventuallyt to the place every dead soul wanna be at, paradise. Shukran Allah.

"They say before you speak about one, look yourself in the mirror" , but I'd say if you're dissing someone , you're dissing God's creation" -Scriptz Iphate , Terahdisi

2010-11-03T23:54:00.002+08:00

& btw there was no fake accounts made by ME or whatsoever. I once used my old account to add that Nadhirah girl i once told you about, but i nv did make ANY fake accounts to add u up on fb. & it was just recently that i know u were a friend of my friend & u added her up on fb. i saw it thru the 'friend suggestion' column. up to u to believe, i wouldnt stoop so low for anything. i could have added u if i really wanted to kpokpo with ur life. out of the many, please i ask of u to not accuse me of all these lowly actions stuff. im sorry about all the misunderstanding.

2010-11-03T23:36:00.002+08:00

Ok, tonight i need to clarify something. Saheera, i know you're referring to me in your fb posts. I know it started all because i wrote about my previous post about this SYAHERAH TAN. Seriously, its NOT about you. You can actually check out this malaysian girl, the reason why i despise her so much it was because of some personal problems my cuzz have had with her. & she keeps adding me up on facebook. I swear i don't wanna fight with you anymore, like seriously i dont treat u like my once-an-enemy & the reason why i said jgn step letak TAN it was because come on, she has a skin colour like those of a black-horse than the way she acts & all that pisses me off & than ade hati nak letak TAN like nak step mane nye cine. I hope you wouldnt be so mean with your words, believe it or not, i've got NOTHING against you anymore. & actually sometimes i hope someday we could be friends when we move on to poly or something. I've let go of everything in the past, on irwan's behalf, please dont get angry with him anymore please. He's a changed person, & im sorry if in anycase or whatsoever he lied to you or anything. & im sorry for causing this misunderstanding, im serious, i dont wanna fight anymore. I think i've had enough of all this cyber fights & ugly words with you. Really, i just want a peaceful life right now. I just had a fight with my bestfriend, & now with you, & still i've got olevels, so just please, its all part of a misunderstanding. I believe the mean words from you are brought partly by your anger, so i'll just forget about it, coz i still believe you're not mean. Coz if you were, you wouldnt bother to even be alright with me kan in the past. All i ask for now is, do believe that it WASNT you i was referring to. If it was you, why would i cari pasal with you like only now? I should have done it way back & wouldnt even bother to say sorry to you last time. Didnt we both agree that we're old enough to see whats right & wrong right? I mean we're really fcuking silly back then by passing of bad comments about each other & we didnt even realise we were criticising each other so badly thru internet. Anw, really, im sorry for this misunderstanding. & i hope to hear from you soon, i wanna get all these right, i dont want any mess left hanging between us or anything. ;)

2010-11-03T01:27:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's history. Dead shit. Im trying to squeeze everything word for word, & im tired. I swear im tired, its so tiring to be memorising out loud. It causes thirsty-ness, it causes hungry-ness, it causes sleepy-ness. I didn't even touch Hitler or Stalin, im dead. :S I hope MrB's predictions come true, please facist japan you HAVE to come out, i studied you like crazy.
Ohh & hello i almost cried during physics paper, i swear it was hard, really. Too much conversions & all. I can't believe im going to say this, BUT chemistry was WAY easier compared to physics. Hello? Me being the physics-lover kind, now i know i stand no chance in scoring for physics. T.T

& im looking forward to my snow-city trip. Yeaaay its been ages & ages ;).
There's this Syahe_ _ _ _ Tan girl who's irritating me on fb, & there's another one but i don't rmb her name, i've ignored them like twice i think? But they still continue adding me up. Mane punye malaysian aje(i think only, haha). Jangan step letak 'TAN' la, bile bukak fb tgk gambar kulit macam org minyak. -.- Tak sedar diri, putih takpe. -___________- & the reason why im not going to type out her full name is because i still respect her privacy. I don't wanna be blamed for unfortunate incidents if ever. Goodnight ~

2010-11-01T23:39:00.000+08:00

Happy Graduation Jezzy !

So, praise the almighty that Baby Jezzy finally graduated from Kindergarten,

we're all proud of her & her dance item was (Y) :D

2010-10-31T19:36:00.003+08:00

Its amazing how we realise who's real & who's not through different trials & obstacles. My girls & I have decided on something, something that'll affect the rest of our lives but its for the better. We've had our personal texts/talks, & we've come to realised who this person really is. We're all upset over this, but its only till there, no further no lesser. Whatever we've talked about, maybe we'll keep it as something inside our hearts.

As for mum, thankyou. Me having the exact same attitude/character as my first sis, its really amazing for mum to actually 'detect' whats inside me last night. To make it clearer, me & first sis's the type who don't really speak out when we've got problems, we'd rather keep it to ourselves but we always fail to keep it from mum. I've always been awake till 5am doing some revisions, having a 'night life' of my own at home(haha), but last night, i went to bed at 3am and mum instantly asked me "Why shikin, what happened, are u ok?" I kept my silence, hugged mummy, from there i know mum understood me. Iloveyou mum .

Bf mentioned last night, life is ultimately fair. He told me to count my blessings instead of pondering over useless stuffs. He told me im a lucky girl, especially when daddy was still around, at least i once had the luxury of moving around in dad's car & getting almost everything i wanted. The only difference now is, there's no more that lexus car i used to move around in but i'll get it soon, as soon as i earn my big bucks.. ;) Piggy's going to turn 17 soon, & we have a big dream of getting a luxurious car as soon as we earn big, enormous bucks^^^^ & bf's not booking in tonight, i likey^^

2010-10-30T22:26:00.002+08:00

& because boyfriend told me, even if she called me a whore/bitch, even if she judged me, even if she didn't wanna be friends with me because of my pride, even if she don't mind losing friends because of ya, boys, i've got a whole lot of people by my side, & that doesnt only include my family, but also my precious secondary school bestfriends. Because one thing i've come to realised, i havent lose any of them, & im glad so because they're the greatest thing that could ever happen in my life. Boyfriend told me i deserve better people around me, the ones who don't judge me, the ones who don't tell lies, saying that they don't hold grudges against anyone when in fact deep down its a different story, the ones who are true to me & are friends with me despite any of my bad side because he said, everyone has their own bad sides/character & its just a matter of whether they realise it or not, its a matter of whether they realise they're no better than anybody else when in this case i think this person doesn't realise it. Well i don't mind losing one, its just like one door closing on one side. & like how they always say it, when one door closes, the rest opens for you, its just a matter of whether you're gonna stop looking at the closed door, turn around & look at the rest of the opened doors. So yes, i'll look on the brighter side from now. No doubt, its undeniable that i truly miss our moments together, but it takes two hands to clap. Nothing can be fixed if its only one side putting in the effort. You've judged me despite the years & years of friendship, but i don't mind. See, how a bestfriend who knows you inside out can end up being the one who stabs you. Fighting with a bestfriend is ten times the pain compared to fighting with an enemy. They're the one who will literally bring out the worst in you, when in fact bestfriends should be the one who brings out the best in you.

kau bbl macam selame kite berkawan ni, aku all the way buat jahat je dgn kau. kau bbl mcm aku AJE yg buat salah dgn kau, mcm kau selame kite berkawan ni all the way buat BAIK je dgn aku. tapi tkpe, i've come to realised that memang there's nothing that can be fixed in this friendship anymore. if someone thinks they're perfect, it'll forever stay as that. mmg dari dulu kau expect people to apologise to you kan, like bile kau gaduh dgn ____, you expect for apologies. its ok, 5 years may be long, but its not worth keeping the memories alive after all this. nothing's impossible, it can still be fixed, just a matter of nak atau taknak. just like everybody, i've got my weakness, 've got my strength. my strength may be your weakness, my weakness may be your strength. no one's perfect, you've got an ugly side of you too, its not only me, really.

2010-10-30T00:58:00.001+08:00

Once again, i didn't have the time to complete chemistry paper today. Haha. See, officially a slowpok. It was manageable, BUT the first question i blank already. I told myself im going to revise that part, i totally forgot about it & ya, blame me for my poor memory.

I snapped some pictures of my essential/daily stuffs some time back, 've yet to upload them but will do as soon as im done with my papers. & somehow, i can't stand seeing people without originality. I mean im not saying we gotta be purely original, at this point of time, its impossible to be purely original because everyone's under the influence of a big word called Trend. But at the very least, as what teachers always say, don't copy blindy. & what makes it worse is when they pretend they're original, like everything about them is original when in fact, ya. Stop being my shadow, its enough. Don't constantly stalk me, its enough. Get on with your life, stop having me as ur inspiration to be someone else, to be me. Im a nobody, so stop.

Amazing how someone was once the person constantly behind your back, & suddenly became the person who stabbed you in the back. You think its worth having some love for a friend who almost killed you with the stab she gave(not literally) ? Coz i don't think so. Mum & dad taught me to never choose or judge your friends based on attitude coz friends that come your way is a blessing sent from Allah. You wanna stoop low, don't do the obvious way, it makes you look petty.

2010-10-29T01:09:00.002+08:00

I typed this entry out some time back, a day before the commencement of o's. As i sit here, browsing for some stuffs on chemistry & looking back at my previous posts, i think i should publish this entry. I can't remember why i didn't post this up, but here. So the 'last night' written doesnt really mean last night, haha.Last night, Mahir Zain's InsyaAllah was played on repeat mode hoping that it'll help control my anxiety. Ended up, i became more of emotional as i listen to the song being played. The part where Mahir Zain sang "Don't despair & never lose hope cause Allah is always by your side", it made me think hard, think deep. I don't know why this song seems so sacred to me. I made a promise to myself last night & i won't break it, really. The reason why, its because i feel that i've done a grave mistake by not fulfilling my obligations as an Islam. I'll end this here, the rest remains. Only for me to know coz i know no words can describe the real thing i've got deep down.

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost that your so alone
All you is see is night and darkness all around
You feel so helpless, You can`t see which way to go
Don`t despair and never lose hope, Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Everytime you commit one more mistake
You feel you can`t repent and that its way too late
Your`re so confused,wrong decisions you have made
haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don`t despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Insya Allah Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Turn to AllahHe`s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
Ya Allah Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You`re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way Insya Allah Insya Allah we`ll find the way

All of us has got this guilty feeling of remembering Allah only when we're in need of something(i don't only mean material stuffs) or we're confused/in a dilemma or when you think you don't have anybody else, its like when you feel the world against you. I doubt there's anybody who's free from this guilt, i doubt there's anybody with a clear conscience. I really doubt so, for a reason we're just humans, ain't perfect, ain't complete. It doesn't matter how many times we've done it, the thing is we did it. Once, twice, thrice, there'll be a time we committed that gravely sin i mentioned earlier in this para. Or rather, we don't really remember Allah always compared to when we're in need or problematic. So see, the human race, the human traits. We all don't share the same exact personality, character, but in one way or another, we will have a similar trait, whether its obvious or not. Maybe as i grow older, i learn how to be more observant, i learn how to be more wise. This is part of what i've learnt over the years since i had a mind of my own. Ok, im random. 10 minutes up, back to my books. Goodnights~~

2010-10-28T21:22:00.002+08:00

taking 15mins off revision time. spent 5mins on fb, i don't feel like twitting, so here i am, blogging. shagged. my ass hurts from sitting too much. i think kan, reading as a revision is not a thing for me. it makes me sleepy. doing something makes me more awake, but its chemistry so i've got no choice -.- tomorrow's the paper. fasterfaster end, i can't wait to slack like a pig again!

avogadro constant, i love how it sounds, avogadro constant avogadro constant. ;P

2010-10-28T13:22:00.002+08:00

O'levels Emaths answer's out. I looked through it, i really don't know if im going to even pass this paper. Careless mistake; sighs.

2010-10-27T23:42:00.002+08:00

At times like this, i just feel like giving up. Im less than a step away to giving up, to still believe i still stand some tinyweeny chance. Im feeling so miserable. I've sat for 4 papers since monday, but not yet once did i felt good & confident after stepping out of the classroom/hall. I don't know why im feeling this way, i wasnt like this last year. If last year i stepped out with half the confidence in me, this year, its really zero confidence. So does that mean my grades this year will be worse than last year? I think i can forget about getting better grades for english & maths this year. English especially. As for science, i really don't know, maybe there'll be chances for my science to improve, maybe by 1 grade up ? I hope so. I don't feel in the least confident to really score, i swear. I hate this. Its like o'levels are against me, like the world's against me. I don't know, i really don't. Now, i can't imagine how i will even pluck that goddamn courage to open my result slip in January. f.

2010-10-27T17:42:00.002+08:00

Few more to go, yeay yeay yeay^^ paper 2; easy. BUT question 8(a) spoil.
So overall conclusion, no distinction for my maths. ;( I stepped out of the classroom in a pissed-off mode. Im mad at myself for being so slow, i need time-management & i've reminded myself so many times about time-management but im still slow. Just imagine, at 4pm, an hour before the paper ends, im only at qn 5?! Its ridiculous. I know the paper was manageable but i don't feel relieved or good or anything coz i didn't manage to check the last few questions or read it carefully before doing it. So its 95% that i've got careless mistake or i didn't give what the question wanted for the last few questions. 6 marks is confirmed, gone. Coz i didn't do qn 8a. I didn't have the time to think about it, that question requires DEEP thinking. Prolly i'll be able to ans it given more time. ;( You know that feeling if you're rushing through the question, you wont be confident getting the marks for that question even though you know that you know how to do the question. I didn't check for the last few questions, im a slowpok. Bye Distinction ;(

Eveything about me is slow, i walk like a moyang, i run like a nenek(i bet some nenek walks 10x faster than me), i can only finish siap-ing at the very least in 1hours time, im usually the star-karat in group outings, i can make bf wait for hours & hours(i wasnt siap-ing, i was still sleeping, ahah), i can take 45 mins to just eat a bowl of noodles (eating rice is much more faster), do maths slow, do english also slow, do science i don't know ah! I feel like cursing myself like hell, i feel so betrayed by my slow-ness. ;(
I never learnt my lesson isnt it, even after 4 papers, i really don't learn. I need to attend some exam-time-management talk. I is sad. ;(

2010-10-26T17:52:00.003+08:00

WOKAAAY, few more to go & im done with this. Maths Paper 1. It was O-K, wasnt hard BUT im sure to lose 8 marks coz i left 2 questions blank, haha. 5 marks for the bisector part which i totally did not bother about. Than 3 marks for the elements thingy, sets & diagrams isit? Ya that qn, so 3 and 5 marks gone. I think studying & memorising that sets topic is a waste of time, really. You need to memorise a whole lot, & its not easy to memorise coz its compli. Than at the very least, just 3 marks for that? -.- But im glad it came out in paper 1, at least its only 3 marks gone rather than 12 marks if it comes out for paper 2. -.- I think i spent too much time for the earlier part of the paper, i was literally enjoying myself at the back of the class, looking here & there, haha. I won't elaborate more on that ;P. So im expecting a much more easier paper 2 for me tomorrow coz following the trend, this year's paper 1 is supposed to be hard & paper 2 easy. *fingers crossed. I have to score like crazy for paper 2, coz i know i won't be able to reach my target mark for paper 1.
& each time i end a paper, mum will call & ask how was it. I realised, i only have a 1 & standard answer to that question & its "ok la". Haha. Eh i don't know how to say what, only god knows how i felt about the paper.<>
Im worried. I worry that i'll score the same grade for maths & english as last year. Than it'll be purely a waste of time for me to retake it this year. ;( Don't speak for science, science is a MUST for me to retake, coz last year's grade was atrocious. Haha. Well, its expected. Science class was always a free time for me, blindly copy notes & than my brain shuts. Its aways like that for majority of e4 students, hahaha. So see, science is -.-'. Ok its actually just chemistry thats always the killer, i just cant seem to plant it in my brain. Ok, its sleep time. I think i sound like a nenek. A young nenek. that was random, k bye.

2010-10-25T10:11:00.002+08:00

I typed this entry out some time back, a day before the commencement of o's. As i sit here, browsing for some stuffs on chemistry & looking back at my previous posts, i think i should publish this entry. I can't remember why i didn't post this up, but here. So the 'last night' written doesnt really mean last night, haha.

Last night, Mahir Zain's InsyaAllah was played on repeat mode hoping that it'll help control my anxiety. Ended up, i became more of emotional as i listen to the song being played. The part where Mahir Zain sang "Don't despair & never lose hope cause Allah is always by your side", it made me think hard, think deep. I don't know why this song seems so sacred to me. I made a promise to myself last night & i won't break it, really. The reason why, its because i feel that i've done a grave mistake by not fulfilling my obligations as an Islam. I'll end this here, the rest remains. Only for me to know coz i know no words can describe the real thing i've got deep down.

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost that your so alone
All you is see is night and darkness all around
You feel so helpless, You can`t see which way to go
Don`t despair and never lose hope, Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Everytime you commit one more mistake
You feel you can`t repent and that its way too late
Your`re so confused,wrong decisions you have made
haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don`t despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Insya Allah Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Turn to AllahHe`s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
Ya Allah Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You`re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way Insya Allah Insya Allah we`ll find the way

All of us has got this guilty feeling of remembering Allah only when we're in need of something(i don't only mean material stuffs) or we're confused/in a dilemma or when you think you don't have anybody else, its like when you feel the world against you. I doubt there's anybody who's free from this guilt, i doubt there's anybody with a clear conscience. I really doubt so, for a reason we're just humans, ain't perfect, ain't complete. It doesn't matter how many times we've done it, the thing is we did it. Once, twice, thrice, there'll be a time we committed that gravely sin i mentioned earlier in this para. Or rather, we don't really remember Allah always compared to when we're in need or problematic. So see, the human race, the human traits. We all don't share the same exact personality, character, but in one way or another, we will have a similar trait, whether its obvious or not. Maybe as i grow older, i learn how to be more observant, i learn how to be more wise. This is part of what i've learnt over the years since i had a mind of my own. Ok, im random. 10 minutes up, back to my books. Goodnights~~

the last lap; the last pant

2010-10-24T22:57:00.005+08:00

Hi. So tonight, it feels like the last lap of my long-amazing-tough-tedious journey. Why long, coz this journey took me approximately 5 months. Why amazing, coz i don't really sit for hours to do revisions but in this journey of mine, i managed to. Why tough & tedious, well i don't have to state why, every singaporean student knows why.

So tonight, i must admit, reading up english in 2 days is obviously -.-. I just did that, i realised i've not been focusing on english. Furthermore, im not that kind of person who can remember what i read weeks or months back. Im more of a last-minute kind of person when it comes to memorizing. Now, the formats seems all jumbled up in my head, i'll try organizing it. Sighs. Awhile ago, Mum came up to me, embraced me & said "May Allah bless you tomorrow". Having Mum said that, i instantly felt pressure rushing up my brains. I knew it, i don't wanna disappoint mum again. It may be just that, but i could feel tears brimming at the corner of eyes. Tonight, i was touched by mum. Shagged as she was, she still managed to cook my favourite dish. Ilovemum♥

I think i've got nothing else to ask for at this point of my life. I've got a whole list of people behind me to show & give me their support for my examinations. Mum's planning a vacation to Thailand together with her bestfriend & her bestfriend's daughter who is my childhood bestfriend right after my examinations. & boyfriend, he promised me a trip to snow city once im done with my examinations. & my girls, they're going to save a day after my examinations for me. So see, another inspiration for me to hold up to. Iloveyouall ♥

On an unrelated note, tonight is another round of goodbye session for me & ♥. Yes, this is the 4th round, & thats if my memory didnt fail me. Its not an easy thing to endure, having him home only on fridays & seeing him go by sunday. & last week, he was only home on Saturday. Thank god he didn't gain any pounds, & because of that he's able to go home every friday. Funny how things can be so ridiculous, like staying in for another night just because you gained 100GRAMS the week before. Its absurd. He has been complaining to me about how he misses 'Ninja', his previous company. I feel for him, but i don't know how i can be of any help. The only thing that i can say, everything will be fine which we all know it wouldnt. I pray he'll be able to endure all that he has to go through, his sleepless nights, his wild imagination about ladies dressed in white gowns, his imagination of a faint smell of frangipani around him & everything else that he's terrified or uncomfortable with. Amin.

I pray that tomorrow be calm; wise & i pray that i don't get lost in the school. Amin.

2010-10-24T01:11:00.002+08:00

I just have this sudden feeling of typing out an entry. Its not like how you think i am, like you're thinking im so free despite the fact that my majors are in 2 days time. Its just that, maybe you can put it that im practicing for narrative essays? Haha.. Actually i was searching for more inspiration, browsing through pages & pages of sites, some reliable, some not. I've been thinking about this, about something every night.

Night. Yes, night. I hate it, lying on bed, you know that very moment before you fall asleep, everything will start gushing through your impartial mind. I've got a lot of negativity deep inside me, i think its time i let go of my crippling past. Its time i start becoming a full-grown amateur in something, than move on to professionalism in the times to come. I just feel that there's something I should let go of, im not exactly sure myself of which or what i should let go of. I don't want my life ending in a catastrophe state, i want it triumphant rather. The whispers i hear each time i close my eyes are obscured, i can't make out what it really is. I don't know. Maybe I should set some time after the major examinations to ponder more on this. Maybe i wanna transform myself after o's, maybe set out to some places where i can seek solace, than who knows from there, i'll be able to find out what i've been wanting to know. No one will understand me, coz no one's me. You know, somewhere deep down in every living soul, there's something living in us thats obscured, & we wanna find out what that obscured thing is. Its vague, its unclear & at some time of our life, we all wanna know what it really is. No one lives a life of perfectionism. There'll be times we all wanna be alone, do some reflection of how our life has been going about & knowing ourselves better. Sort of, a date with ourselves, a date with you & yourself. I'll be using part of my holidays after the examinations to do more reflection, to think about my future, to think about myself, to think about what i really want.
Just like Azu, i too wanna be a doer of many, a major in none. I don't wanna end up doing just one thing in my life, so thats how i go by the previous phrase i typed out. Goodnight world~

2010-10-23T21:16:00.002+08:00

So hi, 2 days to the majors & im still right here. I don't have the least sense of urgency, i know i sound enigmatic, i know im insane, i know i sound like my brain's under some influence of anesthesia. I KNOW. Im using the last 2 days before the majors to actually revise english, you think im insane? I KNOW. Im doing some last minute novel-readings to add on more vocabulary to my word bank. & i know, its crazy. Better get down to real business right now, goodbye~~

2010-10-21T20:22:00.002+08:00

So sci practical, done. I love the phy experiment, in fairness its fun. Haha. I kept pouring & pouring the water in than keep playing with the tap, but i think it was quite hard to get a standard flow of the water. Chemistry, standard, boring. Tak habes2 nak kene heat chemicals -.-. & damn, i didnt know how to switch on the gas thingy coz its way different from hillgrove's. Thank god i just suddenly decided to twist that thing than finally there was fire, i thought we just had to lift it up. -______- eh there was no instructions ok unlike hgv's.

& just now, inside the briefing room, i sat beside 2 other candidates. I heard them talk about their results & all, & what the hack, i must say they're unbelievable. One of them scored an A for english for o's last year. HOW? How'd you score an A for o's english? Haish. Only those who have taken o's will understand how hard it is to score a distinction for english during olevels. Some who were constantly getting A's/B's for school papers & all can actually get something way below during olevels. Than those who were constantly failing for school papers can miraculously get an A or at least a B for english. Ohmyy. & i come under the first group of people, so you can imagine how disappointed i was. It may not be a fail mark, but its something i've never gotten for the language. & those who miraculously scored for english during o's are mostly guys -.-. This happens, im serious & it can be very disappointing. . English can be something like, an unpredictable subject. Those who are supposed to score can end up failing, those who don't expect much for the subject can actually end up scoring-.- & i don't mean only for o's, i mean for school papers too. Ohh & i even heard that the girl is even taking up a part-time 4year journalism course. :O JOURNALISM?! Isnt that the most boring thing someone can ever do on earth ? I mean you'll live your entire life just by, ok enough, i cant imagine myself doing that. Back to books, goodbyeeeeeee~~~

2010-10-20T02:45:00.002+08:00

So lately, i feel so uninspired just by the look of the exterior surface area of my books. & typing out an entry this late at 2:47am is absurd. I don't know how i can really sit & focus on doing revisions. I can at most be at my sit for a maximum duration of 4hours and thats it. My mind will just be all over, scattered. & scattered in so many segments. I wanna be out all day to play, go to places i've never been before, snap a whole album of pictures with darlings, play facebook with continuous notifications, type out an entry every single day with new pictures to include in. Wow, i think out of the many i've listed, guess only 2 or 3 will happen. The rest remains as how it is in this entry.

The only inspiration im holding on to right now is the long hours of sleep & free time i'll get right after the examinations. Over 10 hours of mugging every single day can be awfully dreadful, awfully tiring. Barely 8 hours of sleep, than when im awake its a new chapter of revisions. Each time i open my room door, inch my way out of the room towards the living room, i can see the stacks of papers & books waiting for me to hold on to it. It seems like they're trying to say, hey we're waiting for you. Its dreadful. Than it turns into fear for me, the books become so dreadful to my vision that i dread even to merely hold on to it.

On a much lighter note, boyfriend's getting me my favourite martabak keju from Jcafe as soon as he's out of camp. Yeay. Right for now, i'll keep my words, i'll keep my promise to myself, i'll go back to my books. Know what im studying? Maths. & i should add AGAIN after MATHS. I know i shouldnt be so unmotivated at this point of time, i know i shouldnt be giving up right now but frankly, im T-H-I-S close to losing all hopes, T-H-I-S close to giving up. Goodbye~~

2010-10-19T19:24:00.003+08:00

Right, so 10 minutes of free time before i go back to my depressing books & depressing room. No, i've decided to do my revisions in the living room, the air seems more fresh there, haha. mcm ade beza gitu -.- So i just got back from lot 1 with mummy. I thought what was it that she gave me so many missed calls, so when i finally called her back, she told me to meet her at lot 1. At that point, i thought wtf is so urgent. Than know what? She brought me to GNC, & i thought WHAT? Mum are you going to buy for me the pills for muscles?! haha. But no la, she bought me some brain supplement thingy to increase my memory space. Haha, woah insulting, its like mum's trying to say i've got a poor memory. Hahaha. & know what?! Mum also bought me the chinese vitamins thing, essence of chicken, ya the one we always see on TV. -.- Goddammit. HOW? The smell & the taste, *faints*. Mum told me to sacrifice just for this time, haiyaaa. ;( Than bf's also nagging at me, asking me to drink it since mum already bought it. But the taste is -.- I havent tried it, but i know for sure the taste WILL kill me. BUT anyways, thanks mum (:
Than i got myself some 3-in-1 coffee to prevent sleepy-ness, hah. & eh the butterscotch bread is awesome, should try it. & i got myself a pack of SALAD. for someone like me who dont eat vegetables AT ALL, yeahh im forcing myself to eat 'em now coz i think i really lack the needed nutrients for humans. I really think im a v v unhealthy person. I should change my eating habits from now on, vegetables should be included. Haish.

2010-10-19T02:51:00.003+08:00

Hi, so did i mention i LOVE wendy's ? yes i love wendy's. i love the chilli sauce the most. & the baked potatoes.

& did i mention i wanna go for another martabak-keju session at Jcafe with my girls AGAIN ?

& did i mention i wanna worklikeapig & earn enormous bucks so that i can bring myself out shopping every single day?

Ok stop. Yes im excited for the 12th of nov. Frankly, o's this year is f scary & f stressful. but what the hack ? im taking like just a few subjects & i can feel the pressure since like the month of april ? im crazy. than alot of my friends will curse at me if i complain im stressed out, haha. coz compared to them, im taking only half of what they're taking for o's -.-. Ok i think its not even half -.- Hello? its still stressful ok, to the highest level. 12th. im having my last paper on the 12th. & its the most toughest paper, thats the MCQ part. eh im serious, MCQ's the worst of all. if u get it than u get, if not than goodbye. no half or even a quarter marks. -.-'

& can u believe it, i slept at 5am yesterday. -.- i hate studying in the afternoon. its warm & unfriendly. night's atmosphere is waaaaay better. it'll be so peaceful except for sis's snore. she snores so f loudly. like there's a built-in amplifier inside her -.-

back to my books, ahhhhhhhhh maths paper 2 is so tedious, i hate it ;( & boyf should be sleeping like a big pig right now. awhile ago, he was story-telling to me about his "adventure to the jungle". & he's so excited over the camouflage cream. -.- goodbye~~~

2010-10-17T23:33:00.002+08:00

I really need this time out right now, im having this intense feeling of stress-ness & its really disturbing. Im not kidding or trying to exaggerate something, im serious. Im afraid of alot of things you can say. Fine, call me some silly girl or whatever, i dont care. I just know that i swear i need to get rid of this feeling. I felt this once, but it went away after a night's sleep. But now, i dont feel like sleeping. Am i just thinking a hell lot that its causing me to feel this way? I really can't explain the feeling. Its like i swear im not so stress, seriously. Im not that kind, who feels so stress easily. You know, its like yes im studying, im sitting there right infront of my books, im doing revisions doing questions doing everything but i feel like my head's not into doing it. You know its like, i feel that nothing's going in but i know what im doing & i know im learning. Its just like a brain-jam feeling. For a moment, i feel like screaming my entire vessels out of my fcuking throat. I swear i need help.
Ohh & there was once, my friend called me up & say he needed to talk to someone. He was talking so fast, like a fcuking bullet train. He told me he cant stop pacing up & down his house, going into every room in his house. He added that it was like, he was thinking about something at one point, than at another he was thinking about another thing. Its like his mind was going so fast, not at his pace at all & he didnt know what to do at that point. & i think im feeling like how he felt then. Really, im not kidding. & just like what he said, he never felt this way before. Same as myself, i never felt this way before. I fear of this feeling, i fear of o'levels. I fear everything. Yes you can say im not like the others who has also gone through doing repeats of n's/o's who went through strongly, who faced their fear & got rid of their fear. Come on, i don't believe all those who did repeats has no fear of the same old thing happening right. I know people will just have the same reaction, same words like "if u study, everything will be fine, you'll make it eventually". BUT -.-
Boyf just called, i think im feeling better now. A little bit better. Tmr boyf's going into the jungle, -.-'. & he's bragging that he's losing weight. Shutup pig. Haha^^ So goodnight, im going to try going back to my books again. Chemistry's killing me especially Salts. whatever anhydrous salt shit thingy, haiyaaaaaaaaa -.-'

2010-10-17T16:17:00.002+08:00

So yesterday, piglove brought me shoooooopping to 'release' all my stress particles stranded inside my entire human body. Haha. He's got an awesome life uh, all he do is exercise like hell, sleep & eat than he gets money twice a month. WOAH. Than i told him that i want to join him in national service, haha. Its not a bad thing, than maybe at the end of it i'll have some orang-putih body with abs & tiny-muscles. Hahaha. But nehh, i don't want to part with my prettyhair, haha. Ahhh ya, boyf bought himself a g-shock watch. No, actually i was the one who forced him to buy one coz i think its an essential thing to make his hand look sexy, haha^^ OHHHHHH-kaaaaaaay, time's up, back to my books, gooooooooodbye~~~

2010-10-13T17:54:00.001+08:00

Torturing late night revisions; painfully pain; painfully torturing. I'll be back ;(

2010-10-06T17:18:00.002+08:00

Hi ? Its been awhile. Haha^^ Life's going great but rather mono, studies err ya. Maybe its going great too -.-. Eh wanna know something, ya pigfriend got her purple g-shock watchy. She shop like hell yesterday, haha. I got myself a pair of earpiece but the budget one for temporary usage. Coz i intend to go for earpiece-hunting with pigfriend this coming friday, i plan to get the world's most expensive earpiece, maybe in that case i wouldnt have to keep getting new earpiece(s) prolly for at least a year? Haha. Yeahhh coz im a terrible earpiece user, my earpiece will only be in perfect condition for at most 3 months, after that it'll be a gone case. -.-. & seeing pigfriend buy her g-shock watch, i feel like getting one too BUT what about my dream watch Nixon? Than i saw a dual colour red & orange baby-g watch, exactly like the one i have now, i feel like getting it but why should i buy something i already have? HAIYA! I think im watch-crazy. & not forgetting, im a footwear-crazy person. Haha. I can't wait to go dig for money with pigfriend at the end of this year, than me & pigfriend will shop our dream stuffs like nobody's business. Happyhappyhappy^^^^

pigfriend pigfriend, i already painted my nails o_O haha. i think im going to faceshop again, im going to get all the colours they have there, i found a new hobby for myself, & thats painting my nails^^
BTW, thanks boyfriend for the awesome belated birthday present you got for me, ilovelovelove it so much, you shouldnt have spent so much for it, haiya you. Loveloveyou

2010-10-01T10:41:00.000+08:00

Hi, so should i bid farewell to september & welcome o'levels into my life once again ? Errr ya, that sucks. Doing maths is no joke, doing science is worse, getting history into my head is double the pain, trying to figure out what to read up for english is painfully torturing. SEEEEE! Ok, i suddenly feel this laziness to type more, haha. Goodbye~~

Boyfriend sudah balik, tetapi for awhile aje. :(

2010-09-25T00:00:00.015+08:00

Yeay im done studying^^ No, i mean just for today. Haha, than tomorrow another round of butt-aching for me, sads :( So now, im going to talk about yesterday's awesome adventure. Come, join me in my grandmother stories, haha. No la, i won't be expressing too much about yesterday, i'll let my pictures or rather OUR pictures speak than i'll just type out some of the HIGHLIGHTS for yesterday.

Starting off, waited for our star karat, Heen, for close to an hour. Headed to Koi cafe, omg its awesome, veryvery sedap but blame me for being yayapapaya gitukan that i chose quarter(25%) for sugar level, so at last i got myself a tawar bubbletea, but its still goooood^^ So nextnext, met Syai, syai hari itu sadsadsad jadi die tak gile seperti duludulu gitu kan.

Haish, but nevermind, headed to SimLim coz you all wanna know something thats very mcm monyet ? I took the wrong memory card, the one i use to store all my songs & old pictures, so after taking 30 pics, ikaa came to me & said "SHIKS! MEMORY FULL ?!!" So we had no choice but to buy a new one.

Next we headed to town, but before that, wanna know something so *&^%$ ?! On our way to the bustop, there was this man who approached us for some donations like asking us to help those who needs money to study etc. He approached us in a rather nice & friendly way, than he talked & talked(we didnt understood a single thing) than suddenly he gave us pen(s) & talked more & nvm just let me type out the conversation.

Man: Each of you give 4 dollars ok.

Ikaa: No, we wanna share money.

Man: Huh okok, each of you give 2 dollars.

*Heen, Syai, Nora, Ikaa & myself stared at him for awhile*

Man: Money ?

*All of us took out 2 dollars & gave him. Ikaa didnt have small change & she gave 10dollars to that man* Guess what that man said.

Man: Ohh since you got big money, you give 4 dollars ok.

*He just took the 10 dollars & returned ikaa 6 dollars.*

So our face was like, why's he superforcing us in a way. That spoiled our mood for a moment.

Ok ok, lets move on, we went to cineleisure. & omg! I saw a super cute earpiece that cost err cheap, yes its cheap. Nora bought one too, hah. Ok, so i love cineleisure, the shops so cutecute & heen like org kampong, beli teros pakai. Haha! & & & we took neoprints! omg, its been kambingyears since i last took one, likeylikey ♥

Than finally, over to our highlight of the day, MARTABAK KEJU INDON STYLE. I like^^^ & im super going to ajak boyfriend there, haha. It was my birthday so my girls gave me a good surprise by asking for my IC to get a free martabak-keju-cake. Haha, yes it was free so we only spend $2.70 on the other martabak, each paid 55cents -.- Look at the picture above, 2 plain plates than focus on the surroundings, super messy. Itula kerje kite, we didnt even take a picture of it both, haha. Heen was the best, i like^^^ Mulut sampai full to the highest level, hahaha cute girl.

Next stop, another highlight of the day(as long as its food, it will be the highlight, haha). Dinner was at MAdJACK, another surprise for me & syai, a mini oreo cheesecake, its small but terrible. Just a spoonful will do, & it'll make you feel ohh-so-muak. Than it was home sweet home, but on the way home, we challenged ourselves to make our pictures reach 300, at that point of time, its 240plusplus. At the end of the day, we got 355 in total -__- & because it was my birthday, they sabotage me in a superCLASSIC way, this is how they do it. I gotta upload all the pictures on facebook & i spend 2 hours on that. Haha. But nevermind, iloveyougirls ♥Ohh & on that day Heen's pose of the day was the mentelmentel-i-menyampah kind of pose. haha. than ikaa forever with her butterfly dress, nora with her buatbuat-buruk face. Haha. & i think the pose of the night was the looking down kind of pose, i like uh, we like ♥

Syai, jgn sadsad lagi. We hope you love our special awesome gift hamper. Haha, no i mean the food hamper that we made just for you. We've told you our specific reasons for each food, so yes, haha! bring it to vietnam, don't forget~~~

2010-09-24T17:17:00.002+08:00

At times like this, i need you more than anything. I maybe a strong girl, you hardly see me cry over little things but at this point of time, i realise how much i really need you. Its just friday, i've to wait for another 6 days ? How do i endure all these without you, you're that person who has been with me for 26 months going through all my pain together with me. Even at the very point my friends & i suffer from conflicts, you're still there. Even when i fought with myra, you're still there for me. You're there to talk it out with them just for me, & now, im going through another tough period but you're not here. Please come back fast irwan, please do.

I'll pray to god that we'll be ok, that everything we'll be fine & i'll be fine & you'll be fine & we both will be friends again.. Amin.

2010-09-23T23:21:00.006+08:00

Hi, as of 11:21 according to the time shown on my lapps, a total of 100 wishes on facebook, for handphone text(s) im not too sure yet coz i've yet to count 'em. I want to express some special thanks to some people for making today a blast for me, but i'll start by thanking those people whom i don't expect to wish that wished. Yeahh, starting off with Zal. Haha, omg, its been years since we last texted daily like those days in 2007 is it ? Yeahh, thanks alot for the early text this morning, i was SO shock, really. Than to the first 5 people who wished me on facebook, haha, you all made me laugh with the cute wishes. Than to Alepp, haha. Yes, you wished me twice, on facebook & thru text. We've known each other for less than 2 months & we seldom talk during work time. At most, we'll just exhange glances & smiles & you'll help me take stocks that are high up, thankyou for that btw. Yes, i didnt expect you to actually TEXT me to wish me, i'll wish you twice too on your birthday & thats just 4 days away & i'll see you on sunday again together with Ikaa, haha. & on facebook, there're manymanymany people whom i don't really know who wished me & thats veryvery sweet of them, i love all of you & i mean ALLLL.

I'll update more about today maybe tomorrow or the day after tomorrow ? yeahh, byebye. Ahh, maybe tomorrow i'll be able to talk about tonight(:

2010-09-22T11:39:00.004+08:00

There are some days where nothing can suit to our liking, & that happens to me most of the time. But tonight, somehow with all the nice messages friends left for me over at facebook & plus the handphone messages, it makes me feel so complete. Yes, complete. Tonight, i decided to open my facebook account at 12:03am. & i was shocked to see 5 notifications at that point of time. I thought no one would bother wishing me on facebook but to my surprise, i mean this feeling happens once in a year & im in in awe of all thats happening.

Woah, im 17. 17 may not be something to some, but to me it is. Every year, the part where my age adds on means alot to me. On every of my birthdays, i'd always laugh over how bad i used to look like, how ugly i was & how everything changed. When i was younger, maybe around 13 years old like every other kids, appearance matters alot. In the past, it used to be about how cool someone is, or how awesome we have to be to fit into this century. We have to follow the trend to look cool, we have to have awesome hairstyles, we got to listen to the "in" musics & everything is just about following the trend, about what's "in" & what's not. We'd try hard to follow what's latest just to be "in" despite knowing that by doing so, we're not being ourselves. When we're young, we care more about others, about what they say, about everything. But now that i've grown a little older, it doesn't matter as much anymore.

Looking back, i think all of those mattered too much to me back then that it obviously shows how insecure i was of myself. Insecurities ? That would always be a part of every living soul in this world, but as i grew older, my insecurities got lesser. I can't blame myself for all that has happened during my younger days. I think all kids go through that stage, we're still in the process of knowing ourselves better. Look, how can we be so sure we know someone inside out when we don't even know ourselves any better right ? So a few years has gone by since the day i turned 13, i've learnt alot but one important thing i've learnt, that is to live life to the fullest. Coz this life, its so fast & furious. We've got no time to cry for a long time or to get angry/pissed at someone forever coz we don't have forever to live. I still can't believe this, from a kid to a teenage than next to an adult. Adulthood's coming very soon, its just 3 years down the road. Im not saying that im no longer a kid now, i still am but thats at certain point of time only.

So, time shows 1:14am. & why do i sound so old in my previous para? Haha. Nehh, i was just typing out what i felt & what the years taught me. & to all those who wished me on facebook, im trying to reply to every single one of you. Im enjoying this, haha. It happens once in a year where people whom i don't really see on facebook or i don't really know is wishing me. Ohh & why're people wishing me this way "Happy birthday liverpool fan" or "ohh its the liverpool fan's birthday" etc. Haha, thats a cute way of wishing someone. Anyways, I'll update soon with pictures(:

2010-09-22T11:39:00.002+08:00

Omg tomorrow, im 17. It means i've got only 3 years left, after that go ahead & say im old. :( & i suddenly remembered Azu when we were talking about our age, about how fast our ages are moving. Sadly for Azu, she's got only 2 years left to enjoy like a kid, after that she'll be an old hag. HAHA. I think when she said that, the old hag part, i think i couldnt stop laughing. She made it sound so funny, haha, she's cute. AZU, quick get your license, i want to tompang. Haha.
Ok, so this is the 7th day is it? Yes, the 7th day iguanna's in there. Quick come back & lets go pasar malam-ing together. Lets go buy keropok lekor $10 & pisang goreng $10 & bird nest ! Pasar malam, our favourite pastime, & i missed that. He once told me, & he wrote it in one of his entries "I don't want to be your number 1, i want to be your only 1". At that point of time, i don't quite get whats the difference. hahaha, yes im a slow pok, call me slow pok i don't care. Now, when i read that entry of his again, i finally understood what it means. I'll be waiting yo^^

2010-09-20T19:48:00.003+08:00

Happy 17th Birthday Syai ! Don't be sad anymore, you're 17 baby, its time for you to try out a new life instead of wasting your big day crying over something not worth your tears. I know its been hard on you, coz yes, its hurting your pride & your entire everything but you've got to see whats more worth to do in your life. You've got a LONG way ahead baby, get it over in a day than move on aite ? We'll be here for you, & always here for you. Remember our littlepinkypromise we made right by the shore of westcoast park? Yeahh, & thats still valid & will always be valid. Takecare kawan, jumpe kamu pada hari khamis. Sayangsayangsayang kamu sangatsangatssss ♥

2010-09-20T12:22:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was a day out with 4e4 babiessss^^ For the first time, without any digital cameras/dslr, & we survived the whole day with just 4 pictures in total, & those pictures were snapped with a camera-handphone. Haha.. Despite that, still enjoyed the whole day with them, coz its been AWHILE. Anyways, will be back soon, although i've fixed a very tough study time for myself, i still got the time to use the lappy. Haha, well what to do, thats ShiksA.
Ohh yes, i miss my 4e4 calling me 'chiky', but yesterday the whole day i hear chikychikychiky. Haha, missed those old days :(

The only thing i ask for my coming birthday is a genie in a bottle to grant me 3 wishes. Haha.. I know, thats impossible but lets believe in miracles.

2010-09-18T22:50:00.001+08:00

Today was a blast. It wouldnt happen without mummy of course, next of course to my aunt. They were the sort of 'behind-the-scenes' people. Haha. I'll put up more pictures soon. For now, i'd love to just give special thanks to almost everybody. I'll start off with those who came in the afternoon eh. haha.

Ok, first of all to Ikaa & Syai who was the first to come over. & thanks for the lovely present(: I love it, really (:

Next, to heen who joined us halfway. I love your new joke baby, half-half eh? Hahah!

Next to syai's friend whom, err i dont know but yes. Thanks to the 3 of them who came over, lain kali jangan shyshy. Heh.

Next to my dearest FL friends, i'll name them all. Yes, to ayu & bf, to alep, marlin & haziq. Yes Haziq who was so irritating the whole time. Haha. He wont get to read this anyway, so can mengumpat uh. HAHAHA.

Than next, to my all those who came, childhood friends, my cuzzie my aunt my uncle & to the usual(s). Haha.

Last but not the least, to the behind-the-scenes people, Ate Lina, Ate Jhelly & of course dearest mummy who went to the market quite a few times just to buy all the food, & NTUC etc. Thanks mummy for spending alot of money on this, reallyreally. I love you & i love all of you(:

Today's Raya-open-house cum Advanced-birthday party was; VVVV i suke(: Gaji+DuitRaya+BirthdayMoney= AkuKayeSeminit, hahaha. Now, my special hongbao(the one ikaa hates so much) is thick & full & i suke sangat. Ikaa! Next gaji coming up in october, yeay kaye lagi. K da bye. Hee~

2010-09-17T21:45:00.002+08:00

Hi, its his second day. I know i'll get used to all these by maybe his 4th or 5th day? My dear Irwan called up just to say he feels like he's in jail, not yet started their intensive training(s) & he says the lecture(s) are boring. I see they eat good food, haha. As in they've got fish, chicken & veggies for lunch. Ya, still waiting for his text & thats while typing out this entry & getting organic chemistry in my head. Please come back soon kambing, i miss our piggy talk(s) over the phone & i miss mutton-satay-ing with you. I miss the ugly look on your face when you eat mutton, haha. & i miss they way you eat kuih tart, one of your most hate-est food on earth, haha. I know you forced yourself to eat it because i was the one who bake it, haha. Anyways, come back soon. 30th, fasterfastercepatcepat datang :(

I love the french manicure i did (:

2010-09-17T10:57:00.004+08:00

Hi, study schedule sucks. My attention span can last for like only an hour(maximum) than i'll stand up & go to the kitchen or if not i'll walk around my house & i'll never go back to studying. How the hell can i sit for hours to study ? Frustrating. I rest for hours, i study for seconds. Hah.

So last night, boyf gave me a call. Its so hard to have a smooth conversation with him. Ade je officer nak bebual nanti. -.- & the first time he called me which was around 5pm, he was complaining to me like a small boy who wants his mummy. Haha. No but really, he wasnt in the least ok, he wants to go home. Glad that when he called me back at night, he seems better. Maybe because he already had his dinner, haha.

You've got to endure boyf, its just the first day. Nothing starts out good, you'd learn to like it eventually.

2010-09-16T08:43:00.002+08:00

Think i've got a water-pipe over my eyes, i just can't stop crying. No i mean i've stopped, than i didnt know stupid boyf updated his blog so his last post made me CRY. ): This time i'll call you stupid-suria-boy-on-earth-who-loves-to-watch-JIHAN(haha), eh u used to call me stupid girl on earth too, u used to call everybody that since u knew about the 'on-earth- thingy. haha.

2010-09-16T08:23:00.003+08:00

Hi, 1/8 of the pictures up. But, im feeling down, & i mean super down. Boyf's inside the ferry now, on his way to Tekong. He asked me, why am i so reluctant to meet him yesterday & to send him today. I realised, yeahh why was i, maybe it was because i didn't want to see him literally walking towards that hell place right before my very eyes. It wouldnt do anything if i were to meet him yesterday or send him today, i'd still miss him equally. I'll keep this short, im trying to indulge myself in something so maybe addictive? So i wont be feeling so sad ): Goodbye my most terrible worse insulting humiliating kasar boyfriend(if you were here, you'd say all those back to me, haha than i'd call u pig than the story goes on.), ok thats 2 weeks without you but yeah, you know i know. Goodbyeeee~~

2010-09-15T00:22:00.004+08:00

My boyfriend is going off this thursday, & im not going to meet him for 2 weeks. Worse is im not going to send him off because yes, there's a limit to the number of people seeing him off. & another reason, the most painful thing is to see him go coz its like he's leaving forever so i've chosen, TO NOT send my boyfriend & also, he has already promised me, he'll be back in 2 weeks with my birthday present in his hands. You be a good boy alright, no i mean a good man. Haha. Tekong's a very ugly place, its not like u.s.s. Haha, so yes, don't scream when you see IT. I know you so well, so please, nanti tak handsome. Yes, this post, specially for my boyfriend. Its all coming from my heart, promise. Im not thinking about what to write like how i always do or anything. Its really coming straight from my heart. I wont be that miserable, neither will you coz we're so used to the separation thingy. Ok, not SO used but at least we've separated for a month BEFORE when i went over to the philippines. & thats with the help of webcam that i get to see him. SIGHS. At least now, i can hear your voice although there'll be no webcams this time around. hah. I'll see you in 2 weeks, have fun during your "holiday". Haha! Im not sad, i really am NOT sad. Because i know its just 2 weeks, compared to not meeting & talking otp for a whole MONTH like last time. Don't throw up when you ride the ferry, hah. & i hope to be seeing a much more slimmer irwan ok. I'll look forward to that. Haha, yes i promise, i'll be studying always(: Iloveyou v v v much. Ok thats very mahal, coz i seldom say that online ok. Haha. Btw, thanks iguannaaa for dedicating James Blunt song - Goodbye my lover to me, so sweeets (: Takecare iguannaaa~~~ Hee~

I'll upload pics of today's dinner date together with saturday's celebration at my houseee SOON(:

2010-09-13T14:12:00.003+08:00

We're just merely young teenagers & yet you're getting so serious over your relationship which i think is like ____. Err ya, insert that right word there. So for once, you've finally admitted & showed how important your lover is to you compared to your friends. Yes, its saddening. You see your lover speaking so rudely to your friends, talking bad about your friends & yet you did nothing. I've never met anyone so ignorant like you. Someone who doesnt realise she's in the wrong. You know, someone who thinks she's the right one & that people should go up to her to what, ask for FORGIVENESS? Well obviously, im nobody to actually not forgive someone. & i heard it once in the radio during ramadhan about forgiving others. About how bad it is to not forgive someone despite that person asking for our forgiveness.

Anyways, friends they come & go right? Boyfriends, na-ah, they dont easily come & go. Maybe thats how she has it in her head, like you know i know. Yeah, i've got nothing more to add on.

2010-09-11T23:25:00.003+08:00

Hi. Its been ages. Nahh, maybe just a few days or weeks, & i mean since i last updated a much decent post. Compared to my previous one, looks more like im twitting. Hah. Was just a random comment about, ya yeahh. Ok, so i've got so much things to talk about. Maybe can i do some copycat-ing here? Hah. Maybe for once, im going to follow ikaa yussof's style by having all i want to say in point form. Haha..

1. Hi, i just bought my Nuabs with Ikaa & im so happy^^
2. Today was good. Although its just the 2nd day of raya, i went out with boyf.
3. We watched Haunted Changi.
4. Its not merepek like how they say, its just that the ending was like -.-.
5. You guys should watch it.
6. Pity the director, he died because ........ watch it yourself, reallyreally, its interesting.
7. Its not scary, it just makes us want to keep watching the film.
8. Maybe the film is, addictive?
9. Was never a bugis-minded person, but today me & boyf ended up in bugis.
10. Still feel akward eating during the day because i was so used to fasting.
11. Headed to mustaffa after movie to buy my new watch(:
12. I bought it & im happy. No, bf bought it for me^^
13. Back to bugis for our dinner.
14. I never liked swensens because they've got boring food.
15, But dinner for us was at swensens.
16. Ice-cream too huge even for 2 persons.
17. Now, im watching tv while eating kuih(s).
18. Too much kuih (inclusive of those i made & mum bought).
19. I think this is tiring.
20. Goodnight~

2010-09-11T13:05:00.000+08:00

girls these days suke exaggerate the height of their heels. padehal2. sudahlah korang(yg suke exaggerate), zaman nak compare2 who has got the highest heels da over la. now than you wanna start with 3/4/5 inches heels? i started way back, & i dont have to fcuking put it all over the web about my prettyshoes. OHHPLEASE. stfu.

Talking about shoes, gotten my Nuabs with Ikaa on the last day of raye. Yeay(:

2010-09-06T00:40:00.003+08:00

Hi? This space, no comments. Know why? Coz my ass is tired of working it off. What the ? You know what i mean ? 've been working my ass off for quite some time, juggling between prettyBooks & work. But all these, its going to end soon, this thursday. I told Ikaa earlier i'd update this space this coming wed coz i fcuking want to complain about my work schedule for thursday, which is malam raya. But i think i change my mind, i fcuking cant stand this & i want to put it right here, right now. Thursday, & i mean this coming thursday; malam raya; i gotta work for a freaking 17hours as what ikaa claimed. Its going to be a whole lot standing from 10am to a fucking 2am. Than the next day is raya? & im going to be like a what? Walking zombie? Not yet gotten my raya clothes; what theeeeeeeeeeeee. Its going to purple for me, i sure am going to make purple my colour this year. Im not going to bubble myself. haha. Coz i always end up buying another another colour as long as it attracts me. Hah. Am going to make this quick, ohhyes & thanks to mum & my pretty niece for surprising me while i was working. I was so stressed up with god damn customers when i heard their voices behind me, think it got my energy up. Thanks mummy & my niece, i loveyou both vvvvm. Before i end this post, i must & i have to say special thanks to boyfriend for consistently being my life-saver. He has been bringing me food for buka time whenever im working & its not just food, its super nice delicious food. Really really, thankyouboyf. I'll be BACK. Goodnight world~

2010-09-02T09:47:00.003+08:00

Enjoyed yesterday with mum. Went out to shop for ingredients & food(s). Than came home, started baking. Wanted to snap some pictures of my kuih(s), but i forgotten because mum made me busy with the washing up. Haha. Will be back soon, goodbye~

2010-08-30T20:19:00.003+08:00

Hello! Skipped work today. Hah. Know what, working at FL for the past few weekends has made me so into Ria 89.7. Ok, im not saying i don't listen to the station but i mean its gotten me to suke like almost all the songs? Hah. & & you know, ria plays superjiwang songs like around 9am plus than ikaa would start humming or sometimes worst, she would be singing to the songs while waiting for the shop to open & thats while sitting on a bench while watching this makcik open her mini-shop. Yes than awhile ago, i was listening to 'Adinda', one of Ahmad's beautiful song. & also the song i kept finding for WEEKS, '2010 masih hip hop' & thats Malique ft Joe F.'s piece. & i love all the songs on the ria's chart. SungguhA.S.
Ok, back to work, customers as usual like whatTHEahhhh.
Pakcik, don't call me colour-blind. Maybe you're the one. That colour was a PURPLE, not a MAROON. Your eyes old already, my eyes still young so its more accurate than YOURS. Pakcik, pakcik. Sudahlah kau dgn bini kau. No wonder syafiq was so tensed up with them. -.-
& did i even talk about the outcome of my first-attempt-sarang-semut? Hah. It was veryverynice. But my choco-cornflakes failed. Will try it SOON, & thats when im not lazy. Hah. & tomorrow, will be buka-ing with boyf at Arnold's!!! Never eaten there BEFORE, don't laugh at me. Goodnight~

2010-08-25T20:26:00.002+08:00

Right, its a DOA for my english oral. & i don't mean doa as in prayers but doa as in dead or alive for me. I stepped out of the supercold room knowing that im so going to be dead. It was easy, i must admit. The picture's something so common & there's so much to talk about. But i think i simply forgotten whatever i've learnt & simply had nonsense coming out of my mouth all the way. Than, i can't believe i just spoke trash. Conversation was the worst for me. Come on people, what the hell are you going to talk about your house?! Aside from saying ohh its a 4 room flat, & i've lived in it for over 17 years & my family was the second owner of the house & what else?! Should i list out all the furnitures i've got inside? Woah, faggs like hell la the question. Cocked it up totally for my conversation. Last year cikgu india, this year cikgu india; fated. Yeah & the most easiest question of all, "What's the advantages & the disadvantages of living in a hdb flat?" Why the hell talk about hdb/flats/houses, aiiissshhh! At least give me something related to something much more you know, interesting?! Anyway, its over, shut it. Was so mad with myself, wished i could just turn back time. My words got twisted all the time. You gotta agree with me, its not easy using words we don't use all the time in our daily conversations right? Its not easy to like, think on the spot of what we have to say than on top of that we have to like use much more deeper vocabulary? I use 'la' & 'ah' & 'eh' & 'oh' in my daily conversation, can i use that in english oral? Wth. -.-

2010-08-23T17:06:00.003+08:00

Monday; raining; sick. Am suppose to be at work right now but for some reasons, i don't know how the hell i got sick that today im not at work. & great thanks to kak janna for really being super understanding yesterday. Halfway, body broke down. Was supposed to be sweating like a pig (like how i always do), but yesterday, shivered like hell despite the hot weather & the stuffy atmosphere. So left work at 8pm yesterday, waited for boyf to come coz i fvking need a jacket if not i'll die inside the bus for sure. While waiting, bought superhot tea. Than there was this stupid foreigner (his face looks like a foreigner but im not sure though, hah) who walked pass by me & gave me this stupid smile. A few minutes, he was right infront of me, sat beside me & asked who i was waiting for. My first instant reaction was wtf. Said i was waiting for my boyf. Instantly, he stood up & went back to sit with his friend on another bench. Hah, serves you right. Blame yourself for being so confident to even approach me. (Kan da malu sendiri) *rolls eyes* Than i saw his eyes observing me all the way, stupid drunkard; smoker; tattoo-ic; smelly.

So reached home & i think i knocked on the door like i've got that intention to break the door down. Hah. Temperature showed; 39.3 degrees. Hate being sick, i dont even know how the hell i got sick like a pig. Thanks mum for all that you did for me yesterday while i was sick, & for calling up a few minutes ago to check on me.
On an unrelated note, sis makes me want to cekik2 her. Ass. Ohh & on some random note, im not prepared for wednesday's english oral. Ohh no, im dying. ):

2010-08-19T13:44:00.002+08:00

Im being a very keypo-ass since yesterday, going around asking my friends for their results. (Eh but some just texted me on their own will eh, haha) Ok, so i was like a 'councillor' the whole time yesterday till NOW. Many have been asking my opinion about retaking or not, they've been asking hows it like to retake the paper(& thats because i re-took mine last year) Well, know what, just one thing i'd love to share. A teacher, & i mean a v v v experienced teacher told all of us last year, if we scored a D for oral than its most likely & its like 95% chances for you to move a grade up for the second try. I did move a grade up, starting off with a B3 than scored an A2 the next time round, some of my friends even went up 4 grades up. So see, its not even a hassle to retake again coz i didnt even study hard for the second time round like how i did for the first time, haha. But still managed it overall, why not try again if you've already gotten a Dist for oral right..(& i mean if that 'A' is really precious to you like how it was to me)

Right, there. Ohhyes & congrats to cuzzie for getting her A1(: I just remembered, tomorrow is friday which means its work time ): Which means i gotta get ready for some unreasonable customers who's got a superfickleminded mind, thats ugly. :S I feel so damn tired like heaven on earth, k crap. Goodbye~

2010-08-18T12:39:00.002+08:00

This entry im about to type out is specially dedicated to my prettygirlF, yeahh.
Happy 17th MayraJ.
I'll always love your NATURAL curly hair(hehe), than i'll always love your nonsense & how you can be at your lamest when you're hyper but i'll always hate your laugh like how Fad hates mine. Haha. Coz your laugh makes me laugh more & i hate it especially when we're in the midst of any lessons or during our flag raising early in the morning(those were during our school days).
& do you still remember once when we were having our tuition than suddenly the girl beside us farted & how we tried to stop laughing, yeahhh & that time we were learning MOLE. Haha..
Than do you remember the days you'd come to my house & all, and the days we cried & laugh together with MISS, the days we'd go on a karaoke-hyper-mood, the days where we'd just simply copy all the homeworks we had the day before(& that was during our lower sec days). I miss all of that, well i hope there'll be more to come for us & for MISS. Happy 17th again & all the best girlF(: !

2010-08-17T20:00:00.002+08:00

At times when we look back at what we've done or rather what we've been doing, i think there'll be this intant look on our face, -.-' . Haha, i know thats rather random to start off this entry but that was the first thing that came into my mind while i was staring blankly into this space 5 minutes ago. I was just wondering, what about should i type out, like should it be about my life ? Or about what i ate earlier on, or should it be about how im slacking behind in my studies ? Or should i fill this space with complaints about my atrocious eating habits, or about my piggy sleeping habits ? Or about how mad & pissed i was earlier this afternoon ? Or should it be about how i can't wait to eat my keropok lekor & pisang goreng for supper later on, like while i refresh my brains by starting off with physics notes ?

See, i just can't decide. There's so many things for me to talk about, but.. I don't seem to be productive for the past 2 weeks i think ? But than again, i should really get down to work & stop day-dreaming as though money's going to come to me like nobody's business. Because if that's reality, i don't think i'll even be doing all this. Like working & studying my ass off, like coming back from work at 1230am and immediately face my books. I think schools will not even exist, if there is, schools will only be teaching how to count money & read the time. Right, i'll be back. Im going to do my prayers than my books will accompany me throughout the night. Ahhhh, life~~

2010-08-16T01:02:00.002+08:00

Hi, tonight maybe i'll type out an entry. Ok, its not maybe, i mean i am about to/i am going to. Firstly, i so love my work atmosphere(currently). The people are well, nice. Hah, though they're way younger, but who cares & i forgot to add on, although like 99.5% of the people there smokes, they're still nice people but super naughty(inside joke). Yes, so tonight boyf fetched me, he brought me laksa, ok i mean his mum. Speaking of which, i love his mum's rendang(supernice). Been very tired the last few days, ohh & btw, just one sentence, I FUCKING hate malay customers because they are fucking &*^%!
Come on la makcik, puase2 abey nak talk2 about other people, stfu la. I just realised, even makcik pakai tudung, mulut macam $%*%^! Really la, you puase i also puase what. You shiok2 buy, i SHIOK2 suffering. & to that minah, you are supersuper childish la. She went "kalau aku tk puase, tu due da kene siol dgn aku. Aku tak puas hati siol dgn dorg. tak layan satu hal, abey nak tgk satu macam" Please la, you've already batal-ed your puase by just the words that came out from your mouth, like whatever~~ Who on earth wants to layan you anyway when you call people "OI" than what, you expect us to actually layan you?! *Rolls eyes*

On an unrelated note, 've yet to upload u.s.s pictures. Been tracking down when the big roller coaster will like open, so yes. Hopefully it'll be like, prettysupersoon? Than will be able to go with boyf like during his ns book-out(s). Anyway, will upload 'em prettyprettysoon.

Know what bitch, shut up la. Whatever or whoever, come on la, don't be too keypo. Whatever kid~~~

2010-08-11T21:22:00.001+08:00

Tonight, exhausting; restless. Sadly, i wasnt able to fast today because of yes, the girls problem. Didnt get to exactly feel the fasting mood, but i'll be able to from tomorrow onwards. I realised i've been doing too much chemistry that i clean forgotten about maths and physics. My brain is close to dying, to shutting down. & this 25th aug is my english oral, how how how i think im going to die, HAISHHH.

Know what, fasting month reminds me of night study. I miss last year, spending my nights with the girls. Some days we'd all be focused on studying, some days our brains maybe sort of died & we'd just spend the night story-telling about almost everything. I miss the times Nora would shiok-sendiri while listening to musics & at the same time studying her all-time favourite boring geography(haha, thats what Mr B used to say about geography). Yes, than me & ikaa & syai would stare at her till she realise we're actually staring, haha. Old times, they're the best(:

Each time Mr B invigilates e4 for humanities paper, he would go "Who's taking boring geography, raise up your hand." Than history would be, exciting history or some sort like that. Haha.. Than again, i miss doing history, i miss history lessons with Mr B. I miss buka-ing keropok lekor every single night during night study. Than i remember how Nora used to run away from her ex-boyf who sort of harasses her every night. Haha.. Than going home with Nora, also with boyf & his brother after their terawih. Speaking of terawih, have been planning alot of times to go with Ikaa & Mayra too, but our houses are far away from each other. Than how i wish my house was near a mosque, than i promise i'd be there to fulfil terawih on every ramadan month. Like what boyf used to say, some people live near a mosque but they still wouldnt get their ass off for a 5 to 10 minutes walk to the mosque to fulfil terawih prayers. Simply put, like young teenagers who refuses to pray because they think skipping terawih is cool. -__- Happy Berpuase everyone(:

Right, tomorrow will be another day of learning. It stresses me out, i feel like -_____-

Will be back soon, goodnight~

2010-08-10T19:42:00.002+08:00

You know what girl, fb isnt a place for you to put up such unneccessary(whatever the spelling is) post(s). You can actually keep those to yourself coz it aint bringing you any good. Just be humble for like this time around, you're not exactly well-off you see. Well if you're trying to express how ohh-elated you are over the fact that your _____ is going to buy/bought a _______ for you, i can list it down for you how many freaking times my _____ bought a ______ for me you see. & ohh, why be so personal over the net? Like what ____ said, you're being too personal. I don't see why you're expressing your freaking emotions over the net. Come on, the net's not some councillor or something you see. Stop having your mind set in a fucked up way, like thinking you're the only one facing some freaking grand problems. Stop being so fucked up over this & that, its not even fucking worth. You're being a fucking irritating girl, stop thinking that you're the only one who has got this & that, you're the one who knows this & that.

Come on girl, my life was/is 5 times grand-er than your fucking life. But I don't exactly have to show-off how my family or myself or even my boyfriend can afford such branded stuffs. I aint you, you're being a jakon girl over here. Like as though no one other than yourself has got that thing or whatever it is. So like what the fuck, get down your freaking head & stop being a big loser. Get your heads down, don't stuck it up like a big show-off. Admit it yourself, your life's nothing compared to anyone else(s). Your just that average person, & you don't own some big company or whatever, you're not a big taitai. Whatever you've got right now, i shall not continue. For fear it'll hurt your ohh-poor-emotions/feelings. *rolls eyes*

Be grateful for what you've got. Don't act big if you're not. Don't act clever if you're not. Don't act RICH if you're not. like whatever~~~

2010-08-09T23:50:00.002+08:00

Im finally going to put up an entry up on this space of mine. Each time i look at it, it just reminds me of how mundane my life has been going about. Recently, im back with a busy schedule & its bugging me quite alot. I love my new work atmosphere, its nice. I love the people, & no matter how tired we all are, we're always free for jokes. My studies, yes its going on quite fine. Except that im slacking a lil bit, nevermind, i'll catch up pretty soon.
Know what, I miss my boyfriend. Havent been able to go on a date with him since i started working. He's going aways in about 35 days time, & i feel so sad. Im so used to his company & i've been quite dependent on him, so yes. Its t-h-i-s hard.

Goodnight~

2010-08-06T09:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was reallyreally, awesome/fun/good/exciting/interesting. All the words into one kind of emotion, hah. It was a long day, so I won't list all of them down. But, the most interesting was the Madagascar Roller Coaster & The Revenge of the Mummy Roller Coaster. Took the Madagascar first, it was so unexpected when the roller coaster took a turn than the MAN beside me(which was bf) started screaming "Mak mintak ampun" -.- I was just laughing throughout the whole ride because of him. Haha.. The Revenge of the Mummy was worse, it was a high-speed roller coaster & my only reaction was :S . Haha. But overall, it was so-so. It wasn't as good as i expected it to be, we'll see if there'll be a second time.

So today is my first day, can't be late for my first day. Goodbye~

2010-08-05T01:13:00.003+08:00

Hi, maybe the world's sleeping by now. Well, I was merely wasting time tossing & turning on bed, so thought i'd be a good girl & wait for sis to come home(time shows 0120 btw). Ya i don't even know if she's coming home or not, haha. But who cares anyway, so after this maybe i'd make myself some hot coffee to accompany me while i get chemistry into my head.

This afternoon was great, despite the dancers being such a SIGHS. That sigh must have had sound so disappointing, yes. Ikaa, Mayra & myself met up this afternoon to have our all time favourite Mee Soto with 3 tbsp of sambal(hehe). At the same time, we were there to help the dancers for their upcoming performance this friday as Cikgu Rizwan couldnt make it today. Didnt saw him & Cikgu Zu, ): I miss the old days ):

& about the dancers, being young & new & without any dance background isnt a reason to dance like, like what they showed us just now. I think it was, quite similar to pyss's energy level, really. Ikaa nagged at them quite alot(hee). Me & Mayra, we were more of speechless. Well, all i said was no matter how tired they are, that little smile would at least give the performance 2 grades up. They're lucky enough to be able to dance for big events & all unlike us. We worked our way through like hell, like what Ikaa claim. & like what Mayra said, we came in without any dance background too, but ? I don't know, Cikgu Azila seemed so stressed-in-silence, know that kind. As what Ikaa said, the teachers have been very patient especially Cikgu Zu. Well, we won't realise it till its gone, so yes. I don't know how they'll maintain our gold award for the next SYF next year. SIGHS.

Enough about this afternoon, well for tomorrow, the excitement's not there yet. Anyway, its time to mug again, i know. You must be saying how pathetic my everyday cycle is, but what can i do, i have to. I don't have a choice right now, goodbye~

2010-08-03T18:01:00.002+08:00

I gave up halfway while trying to get part of organic chemistry into my head. 've been trying to get everything into my head since this morning. Ain't easy, but i'll try.
Halfway through my revision, had this sudden urge to write up an entry. Eh but i think that urge came only after I read this particular post on fb. See sometimes, you can't help but feeling so mad & that's partly why im here. I don't understand why're you being so naive, i don't see where the respect you had for yourself went. As much as I don't want to interfere & shut my freaking mouth, I simply can't because its simply annoying. Why, you seemed to be forcing yourself through when in fact everything's just pushing you back. You don't seem to have any pride left in you & barely the respect you had or rather the respect we're supposed to have for ourselves. We gotta love ourselves like crazy before loving anyone else. Why save a space for him in your heart when he's not even working his way to be a part of you? Why don't you see yourself so naive & pathetic, putting your pride down because of a !@#!& ? Everyone deserves a second chance, you gave it but he wasted it. I don't see how you can actually tolerate all of those he did, whats worst is the fact that he insulted your, i won't say it here. Like what ___ said, you're just too afraid to let it go & you prefer to suffer in silence. Is it worth your time for someone like that?

I think a chance can be given only to those who deserve it. & if we have given that chance but they're still taking advantage of that chance, than i think its enough. I think once is enough, accept their mistakes, give them a second chance & thats it. If they showed us how they really treasure that chance given, than i think they deserve it. But not when they're taking advantage of it over & over again. But well for me, i don't lick what i spat. Im not too generous with chances, well its just because some people don't exactly deserves many chances. & to you, maybe you should learn to love yourself before even loving anyone else. He is definitely not someone for you, knowing that he repeatedly did the same thing over & over again, I don't think its nice of him to make a girl cry in despair. GoodBYE.

absurd.

2010-08-03T11:45:00.002+08:00

Right, so whatever happened to all the religious teachings of christians & islams ? I don't understand why people discriminate Islams just because all of the terrorists who are putting each & every one of our lives here at stake are Islams ? I don't understand what this world is coming to, like burning Islam's most sacred book & putting Islamic law to a stop ? You're saying Islamic beliefs are of the devils & its causing many people to go to hell ? sighs.

We all have our own individual opinions, but.... ? To those who havent seen this video, maybe you'd like to spare a few minutes watching it on youtube, than maybe you'll understand why im saying all these. Title of the video : Florida Church Plans 'Burn a Quran' Day on 9/11.

decisions. hard.

2010-08-02T23:13:00.002+08:00

Hi, Monday. What'd you call that monday disease? Monday blues, yes I happen to suddenly feel it today. I suppose you know how that feels, it is a melancholy fact to have those kind of feeling surrounding you every now & then.
& well tonight, im in a downcast state, not as lively as how i always am. Im still contemplating whether to do it or not. Everything comes with its circumstances you see, & im really trap between two choices. & that two choices is as simple as whether to just DO or DON'T, but its taking me well not that long but its still yes, you get me. Sighs. This is hard, life is hard but the hardest is to decide. Seemingly, many survived the difficulty of deciding. If only we could hire people to decide for us, how awesome would that be. Than maybe life wouldnt be as hard as this, than maybe i wouldnt even fear to decide.
Im trying to set my mind in an optimistic mode, I know everything isnt as bad as it is in the end. Except doing things we arent really happy with, maybe that will give a bad start. I hope that's the way its going to be, maybe I am just feeling too anxious, too paranoid i'd say. The thing is, I don't want to end up regretting the decision im going to make. Its still not too late right now, but it will be if i continue dragging my final decision & if i keep entertaining this fickle-minded mind of mine. I don't want to end up, i don't know, its not as easy as typing it out in words or to sum them up in paragraphs. & this is not something i can leave it up to fate, it lies in my hands. Sighs.
Ohh Allah, this is one moment in my life i never want to regret. & Insyaallah, you'll be there to show me the way towards the right decision. I never want to look back at this anymore, sighs.

2010-08-01T19:36:00.004+08:00

If there's something that takes a lifetime to cure, if there's something that makes a relationship at the peak of the worst state, if there's something that is the worst to overcome & to fix, its infidelity.

Took some time off my mugging hours, I know its Sunday & according to my mugging plans, its supposed to be only 3 hours. But i've gotta sacrifice another 5 hours because after sorting out my plans etc, i realise i need more than 3 hours every sunday starting from TODAY.

So, tomorrow is ______ time. I pray that ______. I hope to _______ this friday. I don't want to be ______ & _______________.

Im going to leave it to that, not going to reveal everything till everything is confirmed. So yes, i HOPE everything is going to go fine. & today, happy tFwOeUnRtTyH(:

2010-08-01T15:23:00.001+08:00

I miss listening to k-pop, digged out all my all-time favourites(hee~).
Be back!

2010-07-31T23:44:00.002+08:00

I don't know what on earth we're trying to do in that shot. -.-

I just feel like typing, haha. Goodnight World~

2010-07-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

Right, I read my previous posts, those in 2007. I think I had too much vulgarities, hah. That was the first thing i noticed about almost all my posts in 2007/2008. Than i think im a bit crappy, haha. Well who doesnt go through the 'merepek' stage right, especially during the lower sec days or the primary school days. haha. Than i remember Ikaa, Mus, Faana & i, we talked about those primary school days. Like the sms trend was having the letters in a weird way, like one letter small the other letter on caps lock, hah. Come to think of it, I think those days's like -_-'. Haha. Eh but i think those are memories, as in really memories. Haha..

So im here again to re-update this entry. Well, currently downloading some musics (yes im finally updating my ipod playlist) haha. Its taking quite some time, so thought i shall update this entry. Randomly, i think the most awful thing a girl can be called is bitch. I mean sometimes yes we do joke around with our friends calling each other bitch, but recently i found out that bitch is not just a bitch word, especially in european countries. Mum's friend, yeah she's the one who told us about that word. Its case sensitive, i shall not elaborate more. I still love my life(haha).
I can't wait for geylang's bazaar, im serious. I can't wait for the food, dendeng! Hah, & speaking of which, dee randomly wrote on my wall about dendeng -.-'. Ramadan's nearing, im pretty excited for the upcoming month, im sure the last day of ramadan will be a sentimental one.
Alright, im done downloading, goodbye~

2010-07-29T21:37:00.000+08:00

I'd have this entry without any visual entertainment. Well, weekdays are always painfully long & draggy, weekdays makes me feel so tired & it makes me sleep & eat like a superfatpig. Thank god its friday tomorrow, as planned, my mugging hours's not that long as it is on Monday till Thursday. I feel i need to take a breather on weekends, hah.

After quite some time, I finally saw the pretty city lights along the roads of orchard. I love how the lights gives me some inspiration, i love how it makes me smile. Each time, its just like passing lights when you sit inside the car, admiring how it possess this ability to shine so brightly to lit up dark streets. The best i will always love is the lights that lit up during any festive seasons, especially during eid mubarak where the lights shone brightly, colourful light bulbs hung over the trees & how it gives such presence to the atmosphere. Looks like im all set to roam around geylang, maybe i'll go on a food-hunt with anyone who's willing to spare their stomach space for delicious food(Hehe). I'll end it here, goodnight~

I know im NOT suppose to lose hope at this moment, but sigh coz im T-H-I-S close to giving up on everything..

2010-07-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

Times like this, I feel the urge to sit & do some reviews. Just somehow, I feel like entering this space of mine to type out an entry. I've been feeling restless of late, stressed up i'd say. I think the feeling, maybe i'd say it surpassed the feeling I had during those painful f&n days. It was a spectacular journey, i still managed it till the end. Looking back, at first I wasnt even on track, i knew i wasnt. Mrs Lai talked it out with me, involving different kinds of emotions into the story like how I should put it in my head that I want to do that thing, that will maybe bring me to the right track. So I did, it was complicating. We don't do this often so naturally, it will appear like an alien to us. Well & now, I think doing f&n is not only about the determination & the patience, i think whats more important is one's intelligence. Really.

Think i've got this tendency to fall out of track, ALWAYS. See like now, haha.

Im barely working it out, miserably scraping through this. I've been harping on the same issue, I continue involving them in my everyday thoughts knowing that it would never change.

I studied till late afternoon, barely composing anything up in my brains. My brains & I, guess we're just scientifically a mixture. We don't react together like how compounded elements does, like how 2 hydrogen & 1 oxygen can easily form water. (Im sure Mr Tham would be proud of me if he reads this, haha) I miss his lessons, he's a droll person. He amazingly transforms lessons into some humorous, i dont know, i can't explain it. Haha.. Sadly, chem never gave me any urge to learn about it more neither did Mr Tham pull me into learning it more. Hah. E4 would treat every chem lesson as some party time, or to others, it will be nap time. The back part of the class looks more like a hotel, a very low class hotel without beds except for tables & chairs. They'd simply join the chairs, than lie on them, cover their faces with bags. Hah.

Time do past real fast huh, its time to crack my poor already-cracked brains. Goodbye~

2010-07-28T17:23:00.000+08:00

There, some of yesterday's pictures. I didn't upload all, coz some are really -__-. Haha, especially the jumping portions, haha. & that was sis's idea, the jumping thingy. Hah. Right, spend my whole morning & afternoon with Mr Maths. He's a BORING & HARD 'person' to deal with. Hah, get what i mean. Like what 4e4 used to say, maths should really die. Haha.

Maybe i'll end it here for now, I wanna try playing cafe world on facebook. Sis is SUPERCRAZY over that & farmville too. Whenever she's out, she would randomly give me a call to on my lapps, go in to her profile & that farmville thingy just to accept some i dont know, crops? -__-

Yes, I wanna trying playing it, see how fun & addictive it is. Hah.

2010-07-28T00:31:00.000+08:00

Off to watch Incredible tales online, hah. Later scared sendiri. Eh but i missed the previous episode on the hungry ghost festival. Than i suddenly remember an old friend, yillis. She used to say how she feared going home alone late at night during this festival. Ok I'll be back tomorrow & I'll share the story here ok, haha.

2010-07-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

BabyJ, just now at aunt's.br>

Woah, this feels so gooooooood. I feel like as though i've just gotten back from a holiday, you know like to be back in your own bed. Our instant reaction would be a big AHHHH it feels so gooood~ Haha, ok im exaggerating my emotions. Ikaa Yussof has been complaining about the condition of my blog, hah. Your friend's a BIG muddlehead ikaa, just understand me. Its not surprising that i've forgotten my password for blogger/twitter & almost forgotten tumblr's too. I saved the password(s) all in my lapps, so thats why. Now that i've gotten back my lapps, i'll be able to blog more often but still not frequently.

I've got a lot to talk about, but maybe i'll just save the ugly ones for the last part of this entry. Today's cousin's burstday, her 16th. She had a small party at her house, i love the crab. Hah. Guess i'll just update the pictures some other time coz cousin's currently holding on to my dslr. Had fun playing with my nephew(s) & my niece. BabyJ's veryvery cute, he is so chubby like super. Ohh & first sis's so fat now. She blames babyJ for it, haha.

Ohh & the other day, watched old cow vs tender grass the movie with bf. Than we watched OB3 too, i love tony jaa. Hah. Ikaa's asking us out to watch blood pledge, maybe that will be around next week.

Maybe this para will be the last of this entry. So yes, as i said, i've got some rather emotional stuffs going on. I don't even know how to piece the words together.

Mum, i'll just really try my best to get this all going. I know you've been rather easy with me, you dont set any curfew for me, ok i mean you do but you dont exactly call it a curfew. Hah. Yes, & you've been super nice to me. You got me a dslr last year, you got me a lapps 3 years back, you got me almost everything i wanted, i know its so hard to deal with ME being a spoiled ass. But really mum, im not a spoiled ass, you know that. Its just that what people see of me, they take it as what it really is. You know some sort like that, they say you spoiled me too much when you know its not true at all. Mum, you cant imagine how happy i was when you said i've really grown a whole lot, like you know how the filipino saying goes marunong mag-malasakit sa iba. If my brothers are the one giving you problems, i'd try to really be helpful to not bring you more troubles, i dont wanna add on anymore.

I know you know about bf, i know you said you trust me & you know that we're in a friendship-relationship. You know that kind of thing, being in a relationship of friendship. Yes, if to others there's no such thing, to us there is. Don't worry mum, we know our limits. Im glad mum's rather open about it, she knows we're just yeahh as i said relationship of friendship. Not exactly friendship, not exactly relationship. Right, mum helped me out with my studies just now. Instead of doing, i was laughing at mum coz of her unique way of doing the sums. I dont even get what kind of method she was using, hah. Im glad at this point of time, mum's there to support me, sit beside me while doing my stuffs & talk to me. My mum's my bestfriend. She bought me coffee, yeay.

& on a final note, happy sexy-full-of-love burstday Jan! I hope you love the cookies i made, it lacks the vanilla extract but it is replaced with layers & layers & more layers of love from me. Haha. You know, i really miss laughing so hard with you before bedtime till we always got scoldings by our mums. & during the times in the philippines, we'd go shower together, buy snowballs together, chase the roosters together, got sick together, complained about the weather together & yes, our favourite filipino fishballs. We'll enjoy all those again in 2 years time, haha. Ohh & this time round, we have to dig up manymany jokes just in case palito starts his lame thingy. hah. Anyways, i'll end it here for now. Goodnight~

EdHardyWatches♥

2010-07-11T17:49:00.000+08:00

2010-07-11T16:26:00.000+08:00

So no one's home. Just got back from seeing Ikaa off, she's off to enjoy her Super Star Virgo at the same time also to Phuket. Me & Mayra reached there quite early, so we just stood by the glass window to admire the beautiful cruise. We've never been on it before, so yeah. We talked about going on it once we're legal, which is 4 years down the road. So Mayra's quite budget, she plans to travel to JB with us 4. Im a little more ambitious(hehe), thought of visiting thailand or maybe vietnam. Right, Ikaa will agree with me on this. Haha.. We'd talk about it later, maybe 4 years down the road, maybe on the 10th of Nov. Coz you see, we gotta wait for Ikaa, she'll only turn 21 on 10th Nov 2014. She'll be the last to turn 21 amongst us, so we gotta wait. Haha..

Or maybe i'll ask them along to Brazil to watch 2014's World Cup, but that's quite impossible at age 21 because it'll cost us quite a bomb, so yeahh, maybe we've to stick to just visiting our neighbouring countries. Thats better than nothing, hah.

So since no one's home, I got myself stuck infront of my lappy doing nothing but checking out on some stuffs on the net. Been admiring ed hardy's watch, so pretty. How I envy sis, she's got a whole lot of watches & all, rich girl. *rolls eyes* Ya, coz her boyfriend got 'em for her. *rolls eyes* *rolls eyes* *rolls eyes*

Ohh & above, I've got some 2008-2009 pictures. I was bored, so yeah. Maybe I'll post up a picture of the watch i've been admiring on another entry. It'll be too messy if put everything together, so yeahh.

2010-07-10T15:38:00.000+08:00

Happy 2nd month to BabyJ. Yeay, will be seeing you soon later in the afternoon! :D

Goodbye Prettygirl(:
Will Miss you v v v much, don't miss me too much eh. :P
Will be looking forward to our date when you come back, MISS date. (:
MISS will miss you, haha.. Goodbye Ikaa, WLY♥

2010-07-09T16:49:00.000+08:00

Been busy the whole yesterday afternoon. Mummy digged out almost everything from the shelves & all. Sis & myself was dragged into digging too, -___-. Mum asked us to help her out in arranging all the things, it was super tiring. Than mum brought out a big box containing all her old tops & bottoms. There was some budget ones(hehe), but there was also the branded ones. I didnt know mum wore size XS in the past. So it was a pity that all the pretty clothes ended up in sis's hands, & that includes abercrombie, & there was christian audigier or something ya & i think i saw a couple of victoria's secret, tommy hilfiger. Sis was so action with me, I told her I don't care, I'll be able to buy my very own when i earn big bucks. Than she gave me this face, -.-. I feel like digging her eyes, haha.

So I didn't know victoria's secret had tops too, I thought there was only the perfume. Haha.. I know I sound so kampong, but who cares, I am one. Haha.. I didnt quite look at the stuffs in the box though, it gives me heartache know coz i can't wear any of them. ): So sis, you're a lucky girl huh. A pity some of the white tops had yellow spots because it was kept for too long, so mum's trying to get rid of it. Than there was this LV bag, I asked mum why that bag was placed inside the box instead of the top part of this cupboard where she placed all the branded bag daddy gave her last time. Than she said, because that bag was the first LV bag she bought with her own pay, so thats why it had special treatment. Haha..

Ya ya, & now im filling this space with complaints over the tops that I can't wear, blame me for being a hungry ghost that i keep eating & eating everyday. Well, food is so, irresistable, i swear. No one will disagree with me that food is irresistable, right?!

In fairness, I think the C.A tee was pretty. I was never attracted to the brand, but I think that tee was pretty, ed hardy collections are pretty too. Except that the prints on the tees macam over gitu. One good thing is that Mum said she'll give me her pretty bags, but the bad thing is, I gotta share it with sis. So its like, we're just sharing everything, she can use mine but i can't use hers. Irritating sister on earth, haha. But she's still a nice sis though. Ok Goodbye~

2010-07-08T20:37:00.000+08:00

World Cup's coming to an end. Im getting so worried about the results for the finals. Its exactly the same feeling when I was about to take my MT olevels results last year, & when its going to be my turn for the eng orals last year, & when i got a real strict-looking examiner for my eng orals last year, I think the feeling was like i was about to shit in my pants. Hah!
Words got around, they said Octopus has already predicted for the finals, the Dutch will win. But when I saw the news, they said Octopus has yet to predict. Octopus will only predict if its not tired. So I hope, it'll pick the Dutch in any case.

Ahh guess what, I've gotten my confirmation slip. Well obviously this year's confirmation slip doesnt looks as stressful or pressurizing as last year's. Last year, my confirmation slip was like, as though it needed 2 or more paper to print everything out. Hah. Last year, there was F&N which totally sucks. I put all the shit in my coursework part A & B but didnt exactly excel in the written paper.

I remember during the June holidays, we were in school from day 1 all the way till the end of June, from morning at 10am till late at 5pm doing nothing but our development and all. We used to have roti prata at Aliff's during break time. Haha.. Than Mus once said, how the Sec 5(s) who took F&N survived. They have to do coursework like twice! Than Mrs Lai said the difference between nlevels & olevels coursework was the development part. The part where we're required to do a real interview. Like last year, topic's on children thingy, so we dealed with childcare centres for that part. I think that part wasnt that easy, i mean it really took me alot of time coz most of the childcare centres are not cooperative. So yeahh, eh but still sec 5(s) got to suffer twice for the coursework. Its not a joke doing coursework. Ish.

Than last year, there's POA. OHH my. Sorry Mr Tan, but i cant really work with numbers so thats why i think i gave up totally for POA. Sigh. I mean learning POA in sec 3 was fun, but when sec 4 came, ohh my. It became a nightmare for me. & Mus & Ikaa sits beside me during POA, all the way complaining how we can survive POA. I came for the paper, i did the paper, i tried recalling every single thing, i even scribbled everything on the paper. I think profit & loss part was ok, but paper 1 killed me & the the last few questions in paper 2 was like, so hard. They made the questions super complicated. I was expecting the last of all the grades for the subject, but i did slightly better than i expected. C'mon, for someone like me. Hah. Well, its all over, no more POA for me.

Speaking of which, i gotta collect my olevel certificate, the one for last year. I've yet to collect 'em when i need 'em this year for my combine certificate thingy. Aish. See, i got so much things in my need-to-do list. Ok wait, how did i end up typing about olevels and all when i started out about world cup? Hah.

2010-07-07T21:34:00.001+08:00

So, remember that intelligent freak i talked about somtime ago? Hah. Not only an "intelligent" freak, but someone with uttermost disrespect for fellow people, not only to fellow people, even to her own mum. So, im not even suprised she was rude to me or whoever, because look, even her own mum was not spared. Hah. Ohh girl, don't try to act like some old people yeah when in fact your just a small 17 year old, you know just like me, we're born in the same year you know. HAH! Try cheating your age, lets see where you placed your self-respect at. Maybe right in the middle of your, ohhhh sorry. I can't call you DUMBASS coz you called me one. Well at least, im a dumbass who sits for you know, my olevels unlike you. Ohh & im a dumbass with self-respect. Apart from your stinging words, & ur ungrateful attitude towards ur poor mum whom i think suffered alot coz of you, whats with a court case my dear? HAH. So shall I say, you're shameless? You did wrong & has got such a thick outer layer to even ask for a light sentence from the court? HAH. Don't blame me for anything I've got up here, coz all these, well you should know which is the truth & which is not. Apparently, don't deny the fact that ALL are true. Ohhh & how I salute you of a gifted thick skin you've got yeah. You dare talk about virginity when for all we know, you've lost yours. You know, words get around real fast, walls have ears for all we know they've got eyes too. Haha.. Who's not surprised anyway, by the way you throw yourselves at the gombak guys, HAH. & while you've got your bf with you, you still got that cheek to contact back with your ex(s) & any other street guys. Ohh dear. You dare say when you're with ur bf on bed, it doesnt mean you're having sex. Awww, who're you trying to cheat girl? Me? Them? Your parents? HAH. C'mon, parents came into this world way earlier than us. So just open your eyes, & stop pretending to be a CLEAN girl. Hah.
Ohh & i didnt say any names up here, mind you, hah. goodnight~

time, its never certain.

2010-07-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

These are just 3 amongst 400 over shots. Haha.. I shall not have it all up here, next time when i find myself running out of pictures maybe. Hah.

So today, had my brains intact. My brain's not scattered like how it is always. Hah. Tried absorbing facts, went through my weakest which was on metals. Its hard to look at which is which & all. So my brain suffered quite alot today. Than I just realised I've not started on maths. Been spending quite alot of time on the other subs. Than i realised i think im going to die halfway, because when i open up physics text, I saw magnetism which was something i've never favoured. Yeahh than Mr Choo came into my mind, especially the Kampong Glam Bomohs & Pontianaks excursion where Mr Choo was the teacher in charge for our class than on the way home in the bus, he taught us magnetism, the hand thingy. Haha.. Than somehow, I miss Mdm Teh. In the past, when I had problems for any math questions, she's always there for me, for 4e4 in practical. Now, I see myself alone, sigh. & Mdm Teh, wish you were here. Goodnight~

lappy's not being a goodgirl ):

2010-07-05T19:52:00.000+08:00

So it totally slipped off my mind that I still owe Ikaa & the rest pictures from the last outing. Haha.. Yes, now im busy entertaining the slow reaction of my laptop or maybe its facebook. I've got a few hundreds more to go, aiiiiiishhh.

I've changed my playlist, its a finally for me, haha.. I included Kris Dayanti's menanti cinta, I think its a v v v pretty song, haha. I had the track on repeat mode since yesterday. Its a very beautifulbeautiful song. Ohh & pac's life by 2pac is on the playlist too. I kind of missed the song, so thought i'd add it in my playlist. Ahhh & I can't wait for thursday, dinner with my pretty girls, goodbye~

like whatever~

2010-07-04T20:20:00.000+08:00

I know this is way too belated, but its ok. Happy Birthday to dearest nephew :D His 8th birthday was on the 1st of July. Cuzzie's b-day is the next one coming up, on the 27th July.
Ohh & btw, to this fb guy. Please do act like a 20 year old yeah. Know what? You don't have to literally give me sarcastic sentences like what you gave me, "Ohh i forgot, you're just turning 17 hor". Ohh in any case, im glad im still 17. At least i only have to act like a 17-year old. Unlike you, what? You're so proud that you're 20 but your attitude's like a you know, lower secondary kids. Hah. Eh come on, if you're SO OLD, why bother mixing with kids my age in school? I mean you mix around with kids my age in school & all, than you come telling me that im just turning 17. So do you mean them too? Hah. Come on, world cup is just a soccer game. & you as a fan, please learn to accept other people's opinion. Sportsmanship, hello?? & whether or not im referring to you in my fb post, its none of your business. Ohh & mind your language yeah. Bf commented not because he's my bf or what, it was partly just his opinion & he was not the only one who commented mind you. Woah, you talk big huh. Like including all the balls words, hah. You're saying Bf wanna show his BIG BALLS, how about you 20-year old! No wonder why alot of KIDS don't like you. They say you're so what they say step rabak. Ahh & yer yer ohh je. Big body so what? No one fears you, coz you're just so similar to a kid. So childish. Well well, just name yourself a 20-year old. Yeahh you lived in this world for 3 years more than me. I was born when you were already 3 years old, so take a good look around you boy. No one counts age anymore, people count brains. You got what it takes, they'll take you no matter how young you are or how old you are. Like whatever boy, ohh i mean man. Or should i say 20-year old? Haha. Tak sedar diri, you think you're so hot for mayra to like you? HAH! Ohh than adding on your ohh-so-childish attitude? *Rolls eyes*

2010-07-03T13:57:00.000+08:00

"When life knocks you down, you can choose whether to get back up or not."
-Karate Kid.

no regrets.

2010-07-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

Latest Update; Brazil lose it. Holland won against Brazil; 2-1. Im so sad. Facebook's going crazy with the results. Heen, don't be too happy that Brazil's out. Anyway, what you said, definitely so true. It'll be boring if Brazil won the cup again. Haha.. Now, Im so angry with Dunga. Dunga made a grave mistake by not getting Ronaldinho to play it. So see, what happened?! & how the hell Brazil made a grave mistake by scoring into their own goal?! Its ok, I'll just pray for any teams to win the cup, just don't let Spain win it. They don't deserve it. Hah. Taupok(Ikaa calls him taupok, so i follow, haha) said, fb should give Holland a red card for their vulagrities towards Brazil's fans. Haha. Than I think Holland, Spain & Argentina would get down to the finals. Really. The teams are very strong. But still Spain's not going to get that cup. & don't be too happy Brazil's out ok. Brazil gave way because they've tasted glory for already 5 times, so its time to let the poor teams taste 'em this season. Spain, win the cup this year to earn your FIRST world cup trophy. Hahaha. Goodnight~

I'd say.

2010-07-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

Thought it was over, thought it was done. Who would expect, it was just the beginning. Sometimes, if we try to speak & say out how we really feel, it can become a real big problem. Than comes along people who misunderstands us, we'll group them as immature people. Don't you think so? Partly, immature people are those who don't listen to what others have to say & just start shooting out everything, according to how they feel like. In a war, or a smaller term for it, a fight, there wouldnt be any hearts not hurt, there wouldnt be any body not hurt, there wouldnt be any minds not affected. No matter how the situation was/is, there will & there will always be those affected.
So to this one person, this close friend of mine. I think you should know who you are. I thought all these was over & done & we don't have to look back at it. But you see, I can't keep going on & shut my silence. This issue, this entry will give it the last of my say. We'll let this issue circulate between this space & i don't wish to hear it outside of this space. Seriously. Whatever comments you've got, just keep it to yourself than maybe it'll do everything better. You said something really nasty awhile ago, sure it is, you're not aware of it like obviously. I don't need you to like AGAIN point fingers at me. Come on beb, pointing fingers is v v v immature for our age. I don't want to speak, I don't want to say anything more other than all these words up on this entry, I don't want to do anything. With finality, I can say on my side, I've given up. Im keeping my opinions to myself, so please be a mature girl & do the same thing. Like I said, there's nothing to be solved anymore because i've given up. & once we've given up on something, everything stops there, no more problems to be solved, nothing at all.

The Prophet said that "the believers, in their love, mercy, and kindness to one another are like a body; if any part of it is ill, the whole body shares its sleeplessness and fever."
Ohh Allah, the almighty. I know the Lord's always with me, in my sleep, in my toughest & in my weakest. All praises to the Almighty.

initially.

2010-07-01T21:31:00.000+08:00

This evening's entry, I'll see what I have to share. Starting off, it was a short date with bestfriend. Although it was a short date, alot of bad things sort of happened.
Firstly, Heen was late. Haha.. Like SUPER late.
Than it rained heavily.
Following that, time seemed so limited, & we didnt get to go according to the plan, which was initially JP. So it got us stranded in wm.
Got the tickets, went back down to basement to get some snacks. Popcorns at EngWah's bad, so we didnt had popcorns during the movie. Instead, we had burgers & fries. & there it came the nightmare. I was trying to put chilli sauce on my burger, I sort of place it inside the wrapper. When i was done, I crushed it & it totally slipped my mind that i placed the chilli sauce there. So there goes, chilli sauce all over my hands & I had a little of it on my bag too. I was trying to get it off when Heen shrieked a little. & know what, her chilli sauce fell on her dress. Hah. & before that she was bragging to me about how she had her chilli sauce on a small plate. -___- I can't help but laughing, because she's so cute. Hahaha, so I thought I was the only clumsy fellow. Heh.

So during the movie, I was concentrating more on my food than on the movie. Eh if Heen didn't drag me to this movie, I wouldnt watch it my entire life ok. The movie's not even appealing. & who they say the hot guy, Taylor Lautner? Ahhh ya, eeew. Whats so good about him? Hah. Its only his sexy eyes that gives him the sexy look, ohh & plus his body. But his nose, no comments. Hah. Sorry Taylor Lautner's fans. Well, can't help it, its showbiz's life. All of these, part of it. Haha.. Ok la, shall put in a little good words for him. The way he kisses Bella, its so sexy. Haha.. Ohh & speaking about Lautner, I didn't know guys are obsessed with him too. The three malay guys was like cheering his name inside the theatre. Hah.

Heen was an irritating girl in the movie. Coz she hates it when Jacob & Bella got too intimate, so she was pouting all the way during their kissing scenes. Haha.. In fairness, I think Victoria's, who she claims as her boyfriend, ryle or something? Yeahh, he's hotter, seriously. Overall, the movie seemed to have no climate, I mean the whole story went on like longitudinal waves, i can't see the peak of the movie. So yeahhs, it didn't exactly appeal to me. Goodnight~

~

2010-07-01T00:05:00.000+08:00

Just a short post for now, so words got around & it came to me that tomorrow's the MT O'levels oral. Ohh & this year's batch of o'levels students are quite, err unlucky? Mayra said, they gotta travel to another school to sit for their orals. Than i was wondering who's going to Hillgrove, haha.. I kind of miss Hillgrove's hall, because of its big ass fan. I love the Big Ass fan, its good, its way better than any cooler or aircon. Because we don't need to close all the windows or anything for it to work, unlike aircon. & there's still the fresh air.

I remember during my O'level days last year, it was the chemistry paper. What happened was, i went blank & i started counting the, i don't remember the specific word, but what we call the hands of the fan. Haha.. I had quite a hard time because it was moving fast. To make it more real & exact, I went in the hall for the chemistry paper carrying a brain that's half blank. Than the invigilator made it worse, so thats why my brain went totally blank. Than I remember Mussy sitting behind me, making her stress-noise. I saw Saidon, 10mins after the paper, he was alseep. I sort of joined him after 30 mins I think? I think more than half of the 4e's gave up on chemistry. Disastrous.

Ohh yes & i hope TWSS's hall is not air-conditioned. I don't want to freeze inside & die. I feel so sad, because im going to be alone, all alone. If only I was posted at cckss, at least i have a couple of my pri-school kawankawan. My friends in twss has all graduated, so no kawankawan there anymore. ):
I think this isnt a short post anymore, heh. Sorry, I was carried by my cerite datuk. -___- Goodnight~

sigh

2010-06-30T16:41:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I have to start this post with a sigh, if only i could show all of you how deep my sigh was a moment ago. Know why? Sigh. Because Spain won over Portugal, 1-0. Spain, it was your LUCK, if it wasnt for your David Villa who scored the perfect goal, you all would have die. *Rolls eyes*

Portugal lost, & that means its a final goodbye for Portugal. Which means, its also a final goodbye for portugal fans. Amongst all, the only thing i can celebrate is I don't have to see Ronaldo anymore. Yeay!

I don't know why i despise Spain so much, haha. This includes Bf too ok. But im getting worried for the World cup. I know i don't get any prize for being so semangat(haha), but still, i think all the teams are so powerful. Even MerepekSpain is attacking like hell! AHHHHHHHHHH!~

Nevermind, i've got faith in Brazil, i've got faith in my bestfriend, Kaka. Haha.. Ohh talking about Kaka, i've yet to get his waterbottle, soon soon. :D

♥Kaka♥

2010-06-29T20:35:00.000+08:00

Hello, guess what?! I had pizza for dinner! Its been ages, like seriously ages since i last had my pizza. & tonight for once, 2nd sis has this angel spirit possessed inside her, and she suddenly became like an angel and became my for-a-moment-favourite-sister. Haha!

Ahh & Heen dares to call herself a big fan of Xabi when she don't even know his wife's name! I told her Xabi belongs to Nagore, & she actually asked me who is Nagore, is that an animal? -__-

Latest Update, Brazil won over Chile with 3-0. YEAY!! No more England, but there's still Brazil.

But if choy touch wood, Portugal win the cup, i'd be equally as happy. Please just don't even let Spain win the cup, thank you. Hah.

Eh but honestly, I don't feel that sad for England, maybe because i wasnt so into supporting them. Haha..

Anyway, Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite, you did awesome in the previous match, yeay!! ^.^

You complete my day, my life, really. When i earn my bigbucks, i'd get every poster of you, heh. ^^.^^!

soccer!!!

2010-06-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

So its a final goodbye for England this 2010 World Cup. I see alot of depressed faces. Bf's one of them. Haha.. Im not supposed to laugh because i once supported the team, but its just for my dear Gerrard. Dear Gerrard, don't be too sad over it, you're still my star player and liverpool's star player. Hah. Eh but actually, during the start, I supported Portugal and Brazil. But i saw Gerrard in england, i had to support him, so thats why i chose to let go of Portugal and became an evil traitor of the team. Haha.. Another reason why i let go of Portugal was because that super-irritating Ronaldo was playing for the team. No one can ever understand how i dislike that real madrid player. -____- & the dislike feeling got stronger when i saw his super-annoying-kerek face when he scored a goal for portugal's game against korea.

Dear Brazil, you gotta do your best for the game later in the morning. I'll be supporting my bestfriend, Kaka. Haha, feeling.. Just once in awhile, promise. Haha. So bestfriend Kaka, please don't push anyone anymore ok, don't earn yourself anymore red cards ok.
So World Cup's getting me crazy, haha.. I'll be praying for Brazil, ohh & will be secretly praying for Portugal. I shall tolerate Ronaldo, coz anyway, after World Cup, there'll be no more of his face. Hah!

I hate this.

2010-06-27T21:05:00.000+08:00

When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn.
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me, I'm tearing down your balcony

Yeah, I know it seems like an out of the blue entry, who cares though. I just feel so, well, fed up? Ya, i think that should be it. Its annoying, I cant tolerate that.
You don't feel it, you dont't see it, you don't realise it but others do coz you're just blinded by your own happiness. I don't see why you're becoming rather self-centred, you're becoming like an evil monster. How can we be happy knowing that we're hurting alot of people out there? I know we all have our rights to be happy and all in this world, but should we still live up to that if the people around us has got their hearts hurting for every single feeling of happiness we've got?

back.

2010-06-25T10:19:00.000+08:00

I don't know whats gotten into me that i am actually composing an entry instead of finishing my drama, my LMH♥ Forget it, maybe its because my blog has been left in the lurch for quite some time and its because i do have a heart thats why im typing an entry right now.

& because i suffer from STM, i mean i've always been suffering from STM, i sort of forgotten what happened during the past few days/weeks. Maybe because the last i remembered myself enjoying and laughing my entire soul out was the day i went out with my pretty girls. Other than that, all of it was purely spent with the books/notes and having all sorts of calculations that just wouldnt spare my life and my poor soul, not forgetting my already-worned-out-long-ago brain. AHHHH, painful!~ Than i just wonder, did everything got into my brain? Or did it got in for a moment, than the next they vanished into thin air. Yeah, its not as if my brain has a machine that i can just press a button than check whats inside. Prolly i'd just have a shock of my life if i were to check whats inside, so better not. Haha.

Moving on, one of the days was spent with my pretty girls. Have i ever mentioned how my pretty girls can really make my day? Ahh ya, they really can/did. I think that day was the best and also at the same time, worst for me. I was being tortured into uploading over 400 pictures up on fb, i've completed around 201 for now. The rest of the 272 is still stucked inside the poor memory card. To make it worse, Ikaa's chasing me for the pictures. OHH NO!~ But i'll still do it with love for them, haha. See girls, im sweeter than any of you. Right, i'll stop the praise-session time here. Hah. Goodbye~

Ohh & on an unrelated note, Brazil's going to win the match against Portugal. I'll forget cute liedson for awhile, heh. So portugal, dont dream on another 7-0 basis against Brazil alright. Brazil's going to kick all of your balls and ass(es)! HAH! :D

awhile..

2010-06-23T01:37:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile since i last filled this space with some pretty words.
Its been awhile since i last indulge myself in pretty korean dramas.
Its been awhile, & since its been awhile, i think I shall type a much more decent entry when i find myself free. So that is when im going to update about everything, yes & about my day with the pretty girls too. Goodnight~

dramatic

2010-06-17T18:23:00.000+08:00

See sometimes, we gotta watch what comes out from our mouth. I think it is pointless if what comes out from our mouth is exactly what we've been doing or what we did back then. If that is the case, than it is as though we're speaking for ourselves. Don't accuse others of what you think, if it is just your own opinion, than i think you should let it stay as just an opinion. You're pointing your fingers hard on me, it is as though you can literally read my mind from a distant. Oh wow, thats brilliant if you really do posess the capability of reading my mind. Look, we're all not paid to be kind, just like how the saying goes. I think you're really stooping down to such a low level till you can actually accuse me of not being sincere of helping you. Why should i help when im not sincere, there's no reason for me to help you if it is not because if my sincerity. So see, I just don't get it. After we help, they'd say thanks. Once there's a fight, they'd say we're not sincere and all. Ohh please don't say that i was the one who started to dig out all the past. You were the one who started digging out your so called good deeds towards me.

Your first sentence was you dont mean to ungkit, but come the next sentence, it was all about how you helped me in the past and all. So what do you call that? You do not want to ungkit, but you're ungkit-ing. So what exactly do you want to point out to me? How kind you have been to me? What about me to you? Whatever kindness you rendered to me didnt involved any financial stuffs, but what i rendered to you was.... You should know it yourself.

I dont give a fvck anyway, just say what you want. You can keep turning the story around, but naturally, its still the same story. Ohh and well, who doesnt talk about others behind their backs? Once we're with our friends, than we talk about our problems with our family, isnt that talking behind our family? See, you get what i mean? Hah, I bet you'd say Ohh thats just SHARING problems with friends. Its still talking behind them, right? We're still using our mouths to talk right? HAHA. Don't try to be the good girl here. Don't try to be the clean one, as though you've never done any dirty business. You want war, i'll give you war. But worry less, i won't stoop down to your level. Like you know, digging out good deeds, letting the other party get their conscience all topsy-turvy.

Ohh & based on my own opinion, i think it is only right that one offers a sincere apology when one is not able to make it to an outing or whatsoever.

World Cup Fever

2010-06-17T00:19:00.000+08:00

Well, obviously England or Brazil will win the cup this year. I think Spain should go home and take a rest first. Awww, poor Spain. :D Heen bby, having alonso and torres won't help Spain win the cup, haha. I know im being evil, once in a while only, promise. (:

Know why its South Africa's jersey above, coz no one seems to be interested in supporting poor South Africa, so i'll support it for a little while. Haha.. Ohh and Eminem's name is not there for fun, its because i love eminem and i'll always do although he's old. :D

Anyway, tomorrow's going to be a long day, so goodnight~

frustrated ahhhhhh!

2010-06-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

By right, i don't have the intention to type out another entry for tonight. However, i think i need to because i am angry, i am mad, i think. I can't exactly explain this feeling, but i just know that my blood's ultimately at its boiling point. & I can't possibly type out everything on fb or tweet it coz i feel its too much to even fit in a post. So blogger, am sorry that you're made the victim.

Look, i think i stretched my patience way too long till it became quite over. I just gave everything a laugh although i know that someone, somewhere out there is literally doing what im doing or what i plan to do. Now, i mean right now, as in now, literally this minute, this second, I can't keep my mouth shut anymore. Coz for god's sake! PLEASE stop doing what im doing, stop writing what i wrote and stop doing what i plan to do. Thats all i can say, but still, if you think by copy-catting me makes you happy, than go ahead. I admit, its none of my business if you're copy-catting me, but another thing i should admit is, im frustrated & i don't like your dirty business. Like being a copy-cat. I don't give a fvck about your life, but i do if it affects mine.

& see, i wasted my 15 minutes composing this entry. I can't help it, im so angry!!!
My fb's filled with this issue, haha. My apologies, but i feel really mad & i cant help this feeling of mine. Argh. Now, im not going to type whatever im going to do or anything on my blog. For fear some people might cut my queue. *rolls eyes*

boyanese♥

2010-06-14T20:22:00.001+08:00

Ok, so spending 2 straight days with my obek(s) made me crazy. Haha. Apparently now, i kind of blame them coz some of the boyan words they taught me is stucked in my head. Haha..
Ikaa once taught me a boyan word, beras. It means, apa khabar/baik. I think i kept repeating the word after Ikaa taught me. Haha.
So now, im slowly trying to grasp the basics through some websites. Its hard finding websites that teaches the language coz the language's rather unusual. But nevermind, i am trying my best ok. Haha. I think i should at least know the basics because my ic states boyanese under the race column. Maybe i should ask Heen along, since her race column's also the same as mine. Eh im proud to be one, i mean me and Heen has always been proud to be one, its unusual, its unique. ♥
Talking about Boyan, i miss ikaa's roti boyan + sambal! I mean her mum's, not ikaa's. Haha!
Roti Boyan + Sambal = Happy Girl!

Best wishes.

2010-06-13T20:26:00.000+08:00

Phew~~This weekend was a tough & super tiring one for me. Spent 2 consecutive days, saturday and sunday preparing and helping out for cousin's wedding.

The dowry was like, WOAH. There's a total of 13 trays, all of which held SUPER branded stuffs. Even things like lotion carried the brand, Ralph Lauren. & of course the hot topic on Saturday was one of the groom's gift to the bride, a pair of heels which costs a thousand bucks. $1000 for something you wear on your feet. -____________________-

Practically, everything carries a brand. My cousin-in-law's really really lucky. Haha.

So they were officially made man and wife yesterday, 12/06. Best wishes to the newly wed.♥

Mum actually digged out all the old discs from the computer box, so im slowly checking out what i've got in each and every one of the discs. I just saw some of my old pictures, when i was in primary 6? As much as i want to have it up on this entry, i think i'd better not. Haha. I'll see, & pick the much more better ones. Haha. So like what DJ Desiree said when she looked back on her younger days, like how she looked like crap when she was 21, in my case its when i was 12, i looked like a crap monster. Haha..

Im going to end my entry here. I think its a better idea to not have my crap monster look up on this entry. Haha, i look really funny. Looking back at my niece and nephew's younger days(im not saying they're old now), they look much cuter last time. If only they could go back in time, wouldnt it be nice. Haha, goodbye~